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jazzygoober 
4:22pm Thursday
i really need to find a point to life at the moment..
because i really cant find one any more
i really want my mum back..
she died on bad terms with me and she didnt deserve to die
but i do!!
life is so confussing.. god takes all the god people off the world but leaves the mess up to rot on this world!!!!
all im wanting to do 24/7 is harm so much..
at the min ive resisted so far.. but can i hold on for much longer..
i can feel my strength fading each day..
im just so angry at myself its unreal
Comments
The chemo can cause severe depression. You need to tell your doc that it is depressing you more than your usual state of depression.
I am sorry about your mom. It can be difficult when you lose someone and haven't cleared the air first. You are not alone. I want my grandfather back.
Please stay strong.
TrapShootersRule
i cant stay strong for much longer.. its to hard..
the doc knows.. and confirmed its not from the chemo it my bipolar
jazzygoober
Do listen to Trapshooter and talk to your doctor. And if that person is not interested or just blows you off about the bipolar and depression then find someone else who will listen, care and help. You are having a great deal to struggle with, and bipolar or not, that in itself can really cause cause depression, and so can CHEMO...physically, I know that from experience. No matter how bad it is, hang on...even if it is for just a minute at the time. Your mom knows that you loved her and forgives you, just as you would forgive her. God has a plan for you, even though you do not know what it is yet, He does have a plan, your job is to hold on and to wait till that plan is revealed. You truly are not alone,we all have someone we have lost from this world and want back. Will keep you in thoughts and prayers. God Bless and keep you. Peg
VeganGal
i am so sorry for you loss. you are going through so much and i have been were you are.. well mostly(not chemo) if you ever want to talk im here ok xxx
CadoAngelus1976
I AM SURE THAT YOUR MUM LOVES YOU VERY MUCH ,SHE WOULD NOT HOLD TO BAD FEELINGS FOR YOU,THINK OF HOW MUCH SHE LOVES YOU AND STOP THINKING OF THE BAD FEELINGS,ALL MUMS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN ,EVEN WHEN THEY DO BAD THINKS,A MUM LOVE LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS, GO ON LOVING HER AND BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART THAT SHE IS SAYING ''I LOVE YOU'' ,DO NOT DOUBT ,LOVE LUCY..
JOYHOLY