Drowningintears's Journal

The fuckin bad thing about being in a realtionship when you have a mental illness is that your fuckin partner always blame it on you when there is an argument. I mean when he is the one who got all upset first at you then you get upset and continue the fight, he gets mad at me because we are always fighting. But I am NOT the one that starts them all the time! For instance, today he asked me to take a shower and I said I will but not right this instant. He wanted to go through his old papers and get rid of a pile that he had. So anyway he kept asking me to take a shower and got upset because I didn't want to right away. So then I accused him of not wanting me in the room while he went through the papers. Then eventually I did get into the shower and when I got out he was still upset and so I asked him why he was upset and he ignored me. I was asking in a polite manner. Then I asked if we were going to go somewhere because he wanted me to take a shower so badly right then and there. He still ignored me. Then he finally said he is tired of me arguing with him all the time and I said ,"you are the one that started it. You got mad first." Then I went into the room to cut and now I am going to ignore him. FUCK!!!! Just because I have a mental illness doesn't mean he can use that against me. He is the one that started it this time and he was the one that was mad at me first JUST because I didn't want to shower right away!!! Goddamn!! What an asshole.