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  Hug

  From Momofonechild October 12

  Thanks so much for your insight...I really look forward to the messages here. We're all suffering in some way and it's good to know we're not alone. This is so therapeutic!

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  Rainbow

  From Emptynester2009 September 25

  Hi Cathy,
  Thank you fro the Gold Star!!! Right back at you!! So good to hear from you! Yes, I thought your husband was a Muslim, as I live near a major Mosque in the LA area (down the street from Sony Studios lot that you see when Jeopardy first comes on)....many of my neighbors are Muslim so I understand the culture. Like your husband, mine would do anything for which is why it's so confusing when he's such an ass! He is SO unreasonable and logic doesn't exist! It's gotten worse with age. I'm SO DONE!!! This is my second marriage and I really don't want to go through a divorce, but I live in LA, I don't think I'd be alone for long! LOL There has to be SOMEONE who isn't bi-polar and who treats me the good way my husband does, when he does. My kids love their dad, but they want me to be happy. Very complicated. I'm sure you look great! Sounds like your health is just impeding things right now. Depression is bad...I've been through it, but just made up my mind that I wasn't willing to go through the side effects of the medication and took steps to change my life...except for my marriage, which has just gotten worse in the last 2.5 years, I have changed my life. That's why I can be alone if need be. Tonight is Friday, so I'll have a glass (or 2) of Merlot for you!!!
  Cheers to my new friend in Montreal!!! I'll check my email in a while, I gotta run and do some work!! Take care, -Laura.......a rainbow for you to represent brighter days and something special being at the end of it for you!

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  Chocolate

  From Emptynester2009 September 24

  Hi!! Sending you sunshine in case it's still rainy there!! Good to hear from you! May I ask your first name?? Mine is Laura. I'm on husband #2 as well. Been married almost 25 years. My husband is Canadian as I told you...not really a different culture though....Yeah, I wish things were better. He wants them to be. He's 62, I'm 52. EVERYONE thinks I'm his daughter!! I have kept myself in great shape and I have good genes....BTW, NEVER think you're being punished with illness. What do you have to be punished for? We have been good wives and mothers. We are good people and I believe illness and bad luck are just "life." I pray for you everyday. I'm not a right-wing religious person, just a Catholic who believes in God and prayer. I try to keep in all in perspective. Is you husband Muslim? Is that why wine in forbidden? Go ahead and have some when you can.....what he doesn't know won't hurt him!!! LOL......My husband is making me nuts TRYING to "fix" our marriage! he can't. I'm running on empty and whatever I have is for ME!! He messed up our lives really badly 8 years ago. Found out he's bi-polar and he had an incredibly successful biz that he just tanked with his manic episodes. I'm lucky, when we realized what was going on, he agreed to and continues to take Lithium. It has been a miracle drug, but he has never regained the wealth and success he/we had. He has a temper too. Not physically aggressive, but a real ass verbally. I just tune him out. It's not often, but whenever he gets that way, I USED TO do everything to appease him, no I just tell him to "f" off and I leave and go work out. Needless to say, it does not make for a warm and cuddly situation!
  Thank you for your concern over what happened to my son. He is feeling better and went to the hospital to see the woman he hit. I said.."let HER talk...say NOTHING, just listen." In case she decides to sue him. He is not at fault, but anyone can sue if they want to...especially in LA!! Look forward to hearing from you again...maybe we can chat online. I'm not sure how though. I think I sent you something once but can't see how to do it again. Hope you're feeling better. -Laura

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  Ray of Sunshine

  From Emptynester2009 September 24

  Hi!! Sending you sunshine in case it's still rainy there!! Good to hear from you! May I ask your first name?? Mine is Laura. I'm on husband #2 as well. Been married almost 25 years. My husband is Canadian as I told you...not really a different culture though....Yeah, I wish things were better. He wants them to be. He's 62, I'm 52. EVERYONE thinks I'm his daughter!! I have kept myself in great shape and I have good genes....BTW, NEVER think you're being punished with illness. What do you have to be punished for? We have been good wives and mothers. We are good people and I believe illness and bad luck are just "life." I pray for you everyday. I'm not a right-wing religious person, just a Catholic who believes in God and prayer. I try to keep in all in perspective. Is you husband Muslim? Is that why wine in forbidden? Go ahead and have some when you can.....what he doesn't know won't hurt him!!! LOL......My husband is making me nuts TRYING to "fix" our marriage! he can't. I'm running on empty and whatever I have is for ME!! He messed up our lives really badly 8 years ago. Found out he's bi-polar and he had an incredibly successful biz that he just tanked with his manic episodes. I'm lucky, when we realized what was going on, he agreed to and continues to take Lithium. It has been a miracle drug, but he has never regained the wealth and success he/we had. He has a temper too. Not physically aggressive, but a real ass verbally. I just tune him out. It's not often, but whenever he gets that way, I USED TO do everything to appease him, no I just tell him to "f" off and I leave and go work out. Needless to say, it does not make for a warm and cuddly situation!
  Thank you for your concern over what happened to my son. He is feeling better and went to the hospital to see the woman he hit. I said.."let HER talk...say NOTHING, just listen." In case she decides to sue him. He is not at fault, but anyone can sue if they want to...especially in LA!! Look forward to hearing from you again...maybe we can chat online. I'm not sure how though. I think I sent you something once but can't see how to do it again. Hope you're feeling better. -Laura

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  Hug

  From Emptynester2009 September 23

  Hi!! Good to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear about your illness, but happy it is not life-threatening. Montreal...what a beautiful area!! I too refer to my kid tasks as "Mommy things!" But late last night, I learned we NEVER stop being Mommies....it's kind of good news/bad news. You know when the phone rings late at night it's NOT good news. My son was in a motorcycle accident (actually he hit a woman with his motorcycle)....he is devastated. Her leg is shattered but it was determined by the police that he WAS NOT at fault. She was intoxicated and jaywalking. Needless to say, He needed me. He said "I don't know what I'd do without you Mom!" I know you have times like that too. No one can prepare you for this phase of life. I thought I had it all figured out. My husband always came first because I knew one day the kids would be grown and gone and it would just be "us two." But somehow, it didn't work out that way. We live together separately and the feeling of being so alone is unbearable. I'm closer to divorce than ever now and I'm at peace with it. I hope you and your husband don't have that issue. Mine is always reaching out, but there is just NO connection anymore. I know he wishes it were different, but I can't change how I feel. Something just died in me a few years back. If things were different in my marriage, the emptynest thing would not be a problem. Just hang in there. Enjoy the Fall weather...I'll trade you for this insufferable heatwave we're having here. Write anytime, and I will answer ASAP. Take care my friend. Each day brings an opportunity to be happier.

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