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mindysmom2003 
9:23am, August 20, 2009
my sweet precious daughter was taken away from me at age 3 1/2 in february of 2007!You see I took her on a litle road trip at 1230 in the am,looking for a cliff to drive off,I am bipolar,my intention was NEVER to hurt her!But thereI was,pulled over on the side of the road,w/ my blinkers on,a cell phone in hand,about to call suicide hotline,But then a sherriff pulls up and says are you ok maam? I said no & told him my plan(stupid me).So I was transported to a mental hospital and Melinda to an emergency foster care home! I have learned a lot from this experience,and have fought in the court system for 2 1/2 years! I dont think I had a very good lawyer,she even forgot her notes on the final decision day!So now my rights have been terminated and the last court date to finalize the adoption is jan 6,2010! My son age 13-will continue to get visitation due to the judge saying they have a strong sibling bond!i dont know when or if I will see her again! I did get an invitation to her 6th birthday at chuck e cheeses last wed!It was bittersweet,Melinda seems to be too manipulated and controlled by the foster mom! Poor mindy!I dont know what kind of life she is going to have,or what kind of lies she is being told!I miss her terribly!Iwill always be her mom and she will always be my daughter! By the way I am stable now on my med,etc. The court decision was not right or fair! The judge says he wants to keep Melinda safe! I would never hurt her! I could only love her!Love you forever melinda isabelle-love mommy!
Comments
My sweet Melinda is having a birthday friday Aug 21st!But we are celebrating wed instead. The foster mom invited us to her party!Melinda is going to be 6!We are going to chuck e chesses or boomer (a miniature golf place). I am so excited,but I have NO income at this time so I dont know how Im going to get her a present! Hope my mom will help!I dont really want to spend ANY time w/ the foster mom as I dont like or trust her! fter that,school starts on the 24th! She is excited about school as well! She will be going into first.She is growing so fast!So mature! She wants a diney princess party-7 to dress up as snow white!! lol!!That is her favorite! But shhhh!! Dont tell anyone,its supposed to be a secret!
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You're lucky the foster mother invites you to the party. I have had no invites or pictures from them in 18 months.
I am feeling much better after an 8 day hospital stay& stabilizing my meds!!Its agreat day for a walk and to do some errends!!I am feeling positive and hopeful today!!
UPDATED GOALS
improve my mood
Progress 25%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportComments
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Did you lose your children because you have mental illness? I'm in the same boat (sort of) so I want to know how this happened. Was it a long process or did they take them quickly? Why did you give up your rights (if you can tell me)?
Past Entries
| July 2009 |
Sunday, 7/26
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Sunday, 7/26
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Goal Updated
I'm so sorry you lost your precious daughter; I hope you can take comfort in the fact that she is with a loving Heavenly Father. Gentle Hugs to you my friend.
carebear09
oh no I didnt finish my journal yet-Iam too tired right now as it is a long story=she was taken away from me by the state!
mindysmom2003
So very sorry! You must really miss her! She's a sweetheart!
deblojo13
Dear Mindy's Mom,
The "state's" typical stance on this is to reunite parent (mom) and child when the conditions warrant. I don't know your story, but there is usually good reason why parent and child are separated. Have you contemplated your share of the reason for being separated from Mindy?
If so, I would suggest you get involved with children services and find out exactly what you need to do to get her back. If you haven't done so already, get prepared to change your life so that you can be a good mother for her.
Be humble and take a good look inward. If the separation was because of a mate you chose, leave him or her. If it was because of addiction, get yourself into treatment. If it is because of any other lifestyle, change it. At some point, you may have to look into help from a lawyer or legal services.
Taking positive steps to get Mindy back will empower you and completely change your view on life and your real purpose. Don't give up! Look for support groups. Get honest and open with family or friends. Reach out for help, but take action!
Good luck and I will pray for you,
Wayne-
wpm
wow that sucks i hope you are able to get her back or at least with another family member
robertcalif
i will finish my story today
mindysmom2003
Mindysmom...I worked in Child Protective Services for over 13 years and most of that time was spent as a worker in the "legal system" of trying to reunite children with their parents. It's obvious to anyone in this group who reads your note that this is a very painful time for you and that you still love your daughter very much. However, you are not telling the whole story, Dear. CPS is mandated by the State to make a Family Plan which you and the CPS workers signed, telling you and the Court EXACTLY what steps you needed to take to get your daughter back. This Plan is always filed with the court; the Judge reads it. The Plan and your progress with the services (most likely counseling, monitored visitation with your child, orders to maintain employment and appropriate housing, orders to take your prescribed medications, etc., etc......all paid for by the State I may add) were addressed at NUMEROUS hearings prior to the Judge's decision to terminate your rights. Even then, you were made aware that you could appleal the decision. Evidently, this process has now progressed to the adoption of your child by a third party, so even her father's rights were terminated. She has been in this adoptive placement for at least six months (most likely a year) prior to her adoption, so yes, she has made a connection with her foster / new parents by now! This child deserves to be with someone who will not only love her, but can provide for her physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. The Court has made the decision "in the BEST INTEREST of the child", not in YOUR best interest. This is how it should be. I'm sorry for your loss, but you can keep a journal of your life where you write your daughter letters. If she wants to, she can find you and renew a relationship with you when she turns 18 years of age. If you are sincere in turning your life around, you CAN do it with the help of support groups and a church group. Good luck, My Friend; you are going to have to learn to make the best of a sad situation. Many women have been in your shoes. Many have not "stayed in The Valley", but have demonstrated that a person CAN have a productive life in spite of their Bipolar Disorder.
jjinyancey
My child was taken from me 3 days after his birth and 18 months later, I hope that they don't terminate my rights even though I have yet to regain custody of him. I am devastated that your loss led to custody. Did you visit and seek treatment as you were supposed to? I think in mental health cases they are extremely tough and somewhat unreasonable. Once they have these kids, they want to shelter them for life from their mentally ill parent even when and if their biological parent is able to effectively care for them. It is unfair and I hate to hear your story. I hope you did everything you could to get her back and know in your heart that you did. I'm sure she knows that too. I hope I have a better outcome then you. Interestingly, no one has given me a plan to follow. It has all been so willy nilly. Who knows, maybe they have no intention of returning him to me. That's maybe what's happening, just waiting for me to give up. 18 months later and I can't say what's what. I hope it ends soon and ends with him in my arms.
mnbegun
yes I followed my case plan.took part in visitation,had a bonding study done,I did EVERYTHING THAT I was supposed to! I dont understand this decision but am appealing it!
mindysmom2003
I've been praying for you and Mindy.
JennS
I am currently in fostercare and I do belive in alot of cases the court has messed up.
I was taken away from my mom about a year ago and My dad is trying to get me back..they are making him go through hell even though he has the right things and hes doing parenting classes.So the court in my opinion is a bunch of crap.
Mindy93