LostDuane's Journal

  Its been 10 days since I got the phone call that let me know my boyfriend had lost all his memory....no word of how severe his head injury is, or if its other injuries combined. My friend told me that if he was injured in Pakistan, and it was severely serious they would have transported him to a hospital in Germany, then to the U.S.....but its all speculation.

   I can't sleep, somedays I don't eat, other days I binge. I have to take breaks at work to sob in the bathroom because the flashbacks of memories from him and everything around me can be too much. All I can think about is the last conversation we had, the last dinner we had.....things I should have said, I should have told him how much I loved him over and over....how he means the world to me....its always things that one has kept back that we wish we shared.

I used to think that some things in our lives were sacred, but I never thought that your own memories, your mind... could be robbed from you like that. That for the past 5 years.....the man that saved my life, and held me so tight, the man I love more than anything,....has no memory of our life and love together.....I can't stand not knowing if he's in pain, if its worse or better..... What kind of hell it must be to be trapped in your own mind and have other people tell you what your life is supposed to be......Im just trying to breath every day....