kt1203's Journal

I have no clue. I just need to sort out thoughts. I dont know if i am a lesbian, bi, or straight. I am pretty sure I am in to girls, but I dont think I will know for sure until I am with a girl. I dont know how to tell if a girl is also in to girls. I have no idea on how to get a date with a girl. I dont know how to get a date at all. I like guys too, I think. But for some reason, I dont want to be bi, just because there are so many negative connotations associated with it. But whenever I see a cute girl , I am like, she is really pretty and I would like to know her. But then I turn the corner and see a cute guy, and Im like, man, I want to know him. What is wrong with me? and I bet a lot of people will think "nothing is wrong with you." but to me it feels like something is, but its not a big deal in my life right now. But the fact that I am alone is a problem. Maybe I am just desperate? but then that makes me sound like I am unnattractive and no one likes me. But i know I am pretty. I really dont mean to sound narcisstic, Im just clearing my thoughts. I know that I am a socially awkward person, but once you get to know me, I am a lot of fun. You just have to put up with my antics. Maybe I come on too strong. Ive never had a bf or a gf, and I always try to find a way out of something if I know something is going to happen. I just always feel awkward in boy/girl situations and wonder if it is because I am a lesbian and only interested in girls. Ugh. So this is my story. Lots of details were left out, but that is a bare draft of how Im feeling.