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madre1 
8:25am
So as the weekend approaches I really find myself anticipating what I am going to tell the kids. I orginally planned this weekend away so that I could tell the kids the "truth" about what happened to Mark. I do believe the truth is always the best. But now I find myself anticipating and becoming hesitant about what to tell them. I believe that they already have their suspicions, but even so, that doesnt make it any easier. I knew that Mark killed himself, but when I got the death certificate two months later and saw "cause of death-suicide", it was like a big punch in the stomach. It just made it so final and real. It really hurt, and I know it is really going to hurt the kids as well. No matter how gently I tell them or how I tweak the truth, it will still hurt them. It shouldnt be this way and kids should never have to deal with this. It all just seems so unfair. It just seems that in all this mess, they are the ones that will have the most scars and have to work the hardest to overcome all the pain and stress this caused them.
Comments
It will not be easy, nor is it fair. You will know what to say and how to console them. I think it's important to air the whole thing, then do something with them that they will enjoy. No need to dwell, you all will live with it and hopefully time will heal. Kip.
KipB
Wow - you have a terrible task ahead of you. How to deal with that is tough. I guess you have to try to explain what may have been happening in his thoughts and that is where such a wrong decision came from. The truth is best - they will trust you. You cannot withold it. Blessings to you in a tough time. John
JPFlynn
I can't say any more about the unfairness of the situation and the emotional toll it will take on everyone. But I can say I think the timing of this weekend is good. If you get it out of the way now, maybe, in a few weeks when the holiday season gets here, it will have a chance to fade a bit. The kids dwell on this much less than adults. And maybe Thanksgiving and Christmas won't be quite so affected. Also, the holiday season means family gatherings, and you sure don't want news like this to slip out at the wrong time and in the wrong place. It's your call, it's a rotten job, nobody here is gonna criticize you. Good luck! Curt
sailor1057
You are so right. It's unspecially unfair to your children. Have faith. Listen to your intuition and you know your kids. Do what's best for them.
I give you such credit. It isn't easy but you can do it!
sky123456
i am not sure i would tell them right now, i guess my question would be what good would come out of it. there are some stuff i will never tell my children about my wife's past because they have been thru a lot and i want them to remember the good things. your situation is different and i know you went thru a lot, i guess my point is let them heal give them time unless of course they come out and ask but don't make it seem to them that you are stepping on his grave. there may be no right answer to this question but i am sure you will make the right choice and say the right things, good luck.
RobertRedick
Hey Kim,
You have said a few times that you thought the kids have their suspicions and that just might be the way you go into this conversation...maybe ask them if they truly understand how their dad died and see what they say. If you hear from them first what they think, it will help you know where to go next with this talk. Maybe they already know and haven't felt they could discuss it. This will give you a good chance to open the lines of communication and not allow the topic of their dad to be a taboo subject. Kids take their cues from us on what's okay to talk about and what's not. If they don't already know, I have no doubt that you will handle it very well. I'm hoping that it will bring some relief to all of you to get things out and support each other.
Alison868
I'm praying for you. Stay strong. Hugs, Debbie
1wngsfn
A couple of thoughts. Is there someone close to you who can help? I know the words need to come from you but someone to help you, give you support or perhaps help explain things further to your children if necessary. Also remember children are smarter then we parents often give them credit for. You believe they have suspicions and they probably do. And they may find some relief in finally knowing the truth. I was told from the start not to ever lie about the sucide to my children. So it is much better to come from you now than from a stranger later. I will be thinking for you...Hugs...Jennifer
Jleemurpa
Don't know if there is a right or wrong answer. Kids do end up with the brunt of the pain and suffering. All I can say is to keep on loving them as hard as you possibly can they will know the truth someday, but they know that you love them now and forever. God Bless and good luck!
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