Journal Entry for May 20, 2007
May 20, 2007 11:58pm
For about 2 weeks now, I've barely been able to move. All I do is go to work, come home, go to sleep, and get up 20 minutes before I have to leave …
MissEva
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About Me
MissEva
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About Me
Just a girl, trying to make my way through the tricky maze of my life. I keep getting lost though, stuck at dead-end after dead-end. Most of the time I can't help but feel like I don't belong anywhere....
Just a girl, trying to make my way through the tricky maze of my life. I keep getting lost though, stuck at dead-end after dead-end. Most of the time I can't help but feel like I don't belong anywhere....
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Interests
I write and read a lot. Sometimes writing is the only thing that keeps me sane. I like to make other people laugh--I'm good at it too. It helps me forget about my problems for a little while...
I write and read a lot. Sometimes writing is the only thing that keeps me sane. I like to make other
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for April 27, 2007
April 27, 2007 1:37pm
My mood has been slowly lifting over the past few days. It's kind of sad and ridiculous, but sometimes when I pretend that everything is ok and act …
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Journal Entry for April 24, 2007
April 24, 2007 8:51pm
With these final words, I pull the switch We turn to dust Dust to dust My name is like the kiss of death Then we embrace We turn to dust
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Journal Entry for April 22, 2007
April 22, 2007 12:19pm
Sometimes it feels like self-despair, self-loathing and total desperation will drown me. Everything has just gone to total crap over the last few …
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Journal Entry for April 14, 2007
April 14, 2007 3:15pm
Sam's gone skiing. Again. I don't really mind, but it gets kind of lonely without him around. Nobody here but the cats to keep me company... I …
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Hugbook
I’m With You
I have just had the same diagnosis. I do not even know what LEEP means? But I feel for you and understand.
Hug
MissEva, it sounds like you're getting good follow-up for the abnormal Paps. These are questions that should be put to a competent gynecologist. I always write things down and have my list so as not to forget anything I want to ask at my appointments, because we all get nervous and can easily forget. There are lots of good sources on the web if you use a search engine like ask.com and then type in cervical cancer. As for me, the gynecologist I was seeing didn't do a colposcopy or LEEP - either he or the lab missed my cancer. Then followed my treatment for invasive cervical cancer by a GYN oncologist; he told me the first thing he would have done was a colposcopy. I'm glad you had this and are being followed closely. My advice to women is to always listen to your own body; no one knows it better than you, and not to hesitate to get a 2nd opinion if need be. I send you hugs & my very best wishes.
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Here you go.....you need this!
Hug
looked like you could use a hug
I’m With You
I was diagnosied with cervical cancer yesterday and thought that i was the only 21 year old in the world its nice to know im not the only person my age going through this
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
Diagnosed when I was 16. I was living in Cali with my dad and stepmom. They noticed some "behavioral issues" and took me to a quack shrink in LA who wrote a script for risperdal. I was confused and upset and my stepmom just told me not to tell anyone cuz they woudn't want to be friends with me. I moved back to Utah to live with my mom, went to a better doc, got better meds, but still ended up in a psych hospital 2 years ago. I'm not currently in therapy or taking any meds.
Treatments
- Abilify Working / Worked
- By far the best med I've tried. Used in conjuction with Zoloft and lithium. If I start taking meds again, I'll take this, with a low dose of zoloft to even me out.
- Group Therapy Not Working
- My high school had a therapy group. It was a bunch of teenage girls crying about how they didn't have a date for prom. Stupid. I'm too jaded to try real groups now.
- Lithium Somewhat Helpful
- Lithium is brutal. It made me a zombie. My dose was insanely high & my levels were still too low. Started taking zoloft & abilify, my dose was lowered & that helped.
- Risperdal Not Working
- Terrible. Made me gain weight, made me tired and didn't help my symptoms at all.
Close Insomnia
For about 4 years now, I haven't really slept. I just can't turn off my brain. I'm lucky if I get 3 or 4 hours a night, and I find that I can't really sleep at night. I sleep better in the late morning... I've tried sleeping meds, none of which helped except to knock me flat on my ass for 14 hours and make me feel fuzzy for the next two days. I'd rather stay awake...
Treatments
- Ambien Not Working
- I slept, but it was like being in a coma. Not restful, just...unaware. I always felt fuzzy for the rest of the day.
- Sonata Not Working
- I fell asleep pretty fast, but in 4 hours I inevitably was awake again and couldn't go back to sleep.
- Melatonin Not Working
- Melatonin gives me weird dreams... I don't know if that's normal, but it's disturbing and I don't like it at all.
Open Cervical Cancer
I had a pap test in December. One week before Christmas, my doc called and said I had "abnormal cells" and scheduled me for a colposcopy, which was done in January. I had stage 3 dysplasia, and had a LEEP. I still have some stage 1 and 2, so I have to get checkups every 3 months or so...
Treatments
- LEEP Working / Worked
- the LEEP removed all the stage 3 dysplasia, but I've still got stage 1 and 2 lurking in there. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything will be ok.
