IDidThisToMyself's Journal

i woke up about an hour ago and since then ive been bawling my eyes out.

i miss josh so much.

i miss my grandpa so much.

its been an extremely hard year. 

i havent cried like this in awhile, and it did feel good, but also brought back really hurtful memories. 

i wake up everyday knowing its going to be the same. 

my anxiety controls me. i cannot say how bad i want to go to school and get a job, just be successful. its just not going to happen for me. im scared of what the future is going to bring for me.