IDidThisToMyself

Open Rape

This is the touchy subject for me. I was raped when I was 16 and then again this past year and then again recentely by 2 guys at the same time. I don't know how to cope with it anymore. I used to feel like all I was good for was my body. Sometimes I still think that.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

Rape Counseling Somewhat Helpful

Talking Not Working

Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. When it gets really bad I won't even get out of bed for days.

Treatments

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Not Working

Effexor Not Working

I took this for about 2 months and all it did was give me horrible side effects and nothing else.

Paxil Somewhat Helpful

This is the only medication that has been helpful for me.

Positive Thinking Not Working

Psychotherapy Not Working

Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful

Writing Working / Worked

Open Eating Disorders
Type: Anorexia

I've struggled with anorexia twice. Once when I was in junior high and then recentely also. I started getting help for it and I've been doing much better for about 5 months now. I was at 82 pounds now I'm at 100. I also have Emetophobia, so food is just a bad thing in general.

Treatments

Dietitian Consult Not Working

Group Therapy Not Working

Outpatient Treatment Program Not Working

it was absolutely horrible.

Psychotherapy Not Working

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

Open Self-Injury

I've been self-injuring for about 7 years now on and off. I usually do it pretty bad where I need stitches, which did end me up in the hospital twice and in inpatient. I don't know when to stop when I do it...all I know is that it helps. But everone wants me to stop.

Treatments

Outpatient Treatment Program Somewhat Helpful

Psychotherapy Not Working

Rubber Bands Not Working

Talking Somewhat Helpful

Tattoos Working / Worked

Open Stress Management

I have NO idea how to deal with my stress, which just elevates it more.

Treatments

Music Somewhat Helpful

Open Anxiety

Usually 80% of the time I'm anxious...but not to the point of an attack.

Treatments

Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful

Breathwork Somewhat Helpful

Klonopin Somewhat Helpful

Meditation Somewhat Helpful

Paxil Working / Worked

the only med that has made a difference

Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful

Xanax Working / Worked

amazing

Open Panic Attacks

I still get panic attacks, but they aren't so bad anymore. They were to the point where I wouldn't leave my house. And I still don't want to because of it.

Treatments

Klonopin Somewhat Helpful

Patience Working / Worked

it always ends...just have to wait it out.

Paxil Somewhat Helpful

Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

Xanax Working / Worked

Got addicted

Open Phobia
Type: Agoraphobia (fear of open spaces)

Agoraphobia was the main thing that kept me even more depressed. I would never leave my house. Sometimes I'm still scared to. But now I'm forcing myself to get out there. I finally am able to talk about my other phobia which is running my life. I have had emetophobia since I was about 8.

Treatments

Acceptance Not Working

Paxil Somewhat Helpful

Open Prescription Drug Abuse

I am abusing my prescription of Xanax. I'm on .5mg and I would be taking about 10-12 a day. I would feel like if I didn't have it I would get a panic attack, so I just popped a pill or two every hour or so.

Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery

I've been smoking cigarettes for about 6 years now. It's one of the things that actually calms me down at times.

Treatments

Cold Turkey Not Working

Open Insomnia

What the heck is sleep?

Treatments

Ambien Somewhat Helpful

Lunesta Somewhat Helpful

Reading Somewhat Helpful

Open Step Families

I have a step-mom and I live with her and my dad. Things there are so messed up, I can't even describe it.

Open Breakups & Divorce

Too complicated. Too heartbreaking.

Treatments

Forgiveness Working / Worked

Pets Working / Worked

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

Talking Working / Worked

Time Working / Worked

Open Pregnancy

Right now as of 5/5/08 I am 8 weeks 3 days pregnant. edit:lost my baby boy at 22weeks, he survived for 45 min.

Open Other Heart Problems
Type: Mitral Valve Prolapse

I also have heart murmur and palpitations. My MVP could also be one of the causes of my panic attacks and anxiety.

Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Child

I lost my baby, Joshua Edward at 5 months during my pregnancy on 7/28/08. He lived for a precious 45 minutes before passing on.

Treatments

Crying Somewhat Helpful

It helps when I cry, but I try holding it in.

Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful

I'm VERY angry, so I will punch things, scream into pillows. It has helped let me channel my anger somewhere.

Grief Counseling Not Working

I tried going, and after 3 sessions I stopped. I couldn't handle it.

Keeping Busy Not Working

Music Somewhat Helpful

Pets Working / Worked

I got Dakota the same time I got pregnant...so she's been there with me through it all and she really keeps me together sometimes, as weird as that sounds.

Prayer Somewhat Helpful

Psychotherapy Not Working

Reading Somewhat Helpful

Remembering Working / Worked

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

Support Groups Working / Worked

I go to a SHARE group every month. It's the hardest thing to do, but the most healing.

Talking Somewhat Helpful

Time Not Working

Time means nothing to me anymore. Doesn't make it any better.

Open Loneliness

Since I lost my son, I feel completely alone.

Open Body Modification

Open Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety

Open Healthy Relationships

After all my horrible relationships, I'm trying to prepare myself to have a healthy and loving one.

Treatments

Patience Working / Worked

Talking Working / Worked

Writing Working / Worked

Open Premature Birth

Open Pregnancy After Loss/Infertility

Open Myelodysplasia