RickyT's Journal

Well, I have not been on in almost a week. On Thursday, DH called me to tell us our very close friend and neighbor passed. She was 88 and died peacefully in her chair watching TV. Then Friday, my cousin called me and toldm ethat our  Gram was not going ot make it thru the afternoon. I caleld my mom in AZ and rushed to the nursing home. I booked flights for my folks to come to town and Gram held on until Sunday. Friday night, my friends Aunt died after a long battle with cancer.

I am so emotionally exhausted. I am taking the femara and should start gonal-f tomorrow night. I am so terrified that its not going to work again. DH is trying to be hopeful, but I am so exhausted. Everyone around us is expecting and having good things happen and getting BFP, I just do not know what to think anymore. My heart is broken and I am just frustrated. I wish that things would get easier.

Watching my grandmother die was so hard, but what was harder for me was watching my mother lose her mother. How heart breaking, I do not know how I will ever get thru losing my own mother.  I hope to get my BFP and be able to give my mom something to look forward to and give her some hope.