cinaflower's Journal

I have slept as much as possible this weekend- last night I woke up three or four times to tinkle- I didn't even drink much yesterday- and I was up at 7ish this morning- rolled around in bed till 8 or so- and now I'm up- achy and weak, dammit. The sleep isn't restorative- the last few weeks- it did seem to help me- to increase my energy when I woke up- even my pain was less- but this weekend has been depressing. I can barely hold my coffee cup. My arms are weak and useless. Yesterday morning even my legs were weak and I've never had that before. I'm achy all over, cold to the bone. I'm bummed out- I needed to feel good this weekend so I could catch up on housework and organizing our shedules and stuff- and now I'm just laying around- too weak to hold up a book to read. I can get a load or two of laundry in- and after resting a while can manage to fold- but the family is going to have to help me out today.

I went to this website with facts about fibro and printed it out, I wanted to have something for family and people to read- so I gave it to the husband and he read over it- and said-well, it certainly seems like you have this- and then he skimmed over all the pages on how to deal with it- to the prognosis- and said- oh- good it says with the right meds and support and a positive outlook-you can get over this- and he handed me back the papers- like- okay- so now be positive and get over it. I just stared at him- he knew he said the wrong thing- I just walked away. I have no one who understands or is with me on this- no one to confide in- no one to discuss my frustrations with. He thinks about money- how much this costs him- and although he has been helping out more- he just wants me to get over it- like it's a phase I'm going through. I wish. I wish it were that easy- I've got no one except my inner voice to guide me and comfort me. I just have to take care of myself and do what I know is best.