cinaflower's Journal

It was a rough week and I'm so glad it's the weekend. I had a cold all week and it's still dragging on. I fell asleep around 4:30 this afternoon and slept over 3 hours. I'm going to take a bath and get back in bed. Maybe if I sleep constantly maybe eventually I'll have some energy.

I started my new meds last Friday and it seems to be going well. I thought my shoulder/arm pain was just part of my fibro- but the doc said it was bursitis- which just means it's inflamed really. I've been taking anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers for that. I'm supposed to take the muscle relaxer three times a day- I was too tired!

 In general, I would say I'm better- but I still have no stamina- and I can't seem to focus on anything. I have trouble reading and doing things with my hands- like the connections between the brain and these other parts just aren't right. I have trouble manipulating things, thinking, remembering, and in reading comprehension. I was always a fast reader- I feel frustrated by looking at a magazine now.

The doctors suggested several things- and I don't know what to do. My obgyn referred me for water therapy but we haven't finished paying for my PT from last May for my plantar fasciitis- so they won't do it until then. They completely misquoted how much that was going to be to me. And my internist wants to do a sleep study- which may be a good idea- but also expensive. I can't keep trying all this stuff and going through test after test- just the 40$ co-pay is hard to fork over every so often- let alone all the meds to pay for. It's rough-

I'm also struggling now with how I want to deal with this at work and home- and how others treat me. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and I don't want to complain and I don't want to make a bigger deal out of stuff than it is- but I want to be given the benefit of the doubt and, I guess, some accomodations for my health- or lack of it. I'm so close to just taking the medical leave some days- I know it would be the best thing for me- but everyone makes me feel guilty- they say life IS hard, we're all tired, we're all busy- we all need a rest- but they aren't me with this crap going on. I haven't been healthy an entire week since June. It's taking a toll on me, on our family- on the organization and running of my household. I cant' do it all- some days I can't do anything except show up.

I'm optimistic about this medicine I'm on-except that today I've had some head pain- although that could be from sinus stuff. I hope with some good rest this weekend maybe I can make some progress on getting my house in order and taking care of myself.