cinaflower's Journal

Not much has changed. It's all good, honestly and I hope it keeps staying this way. I was talking to the H the other day and telling him about how peaceful I feel and that I really think it's due to the fact that my hormone are finally normal and don't fluctuate- that menopause is really a gift. I had read more than once about how women start feeling like they're losing their minds during perimenopause/menopause- how many women suddenly can't stand their lives or husbands- it's real. My husband blew it off, saying it's just a mid-life crisis and that he's just enjoying the moment because he doesn't expect it to stay (how pessimistic)- but it's more than that- my issues were in my brain and body- not just in my soul. I feel like everything will be okay, most every day. Once in a while I'll feel down, but then I just go outside or read or do something sort of relaxing and I'll be fine.

     The H and I did kind of get into it yesterday but I'm over it. I can forgive quickly now, what a gift!!! He was talking about this class he's taking and it's been rather annoying to me because he's so nervous and stressed out and needing to take all of this time to work on his projects and stuff and I just have no sympathy because I was doing all of that, working, taking care of the house and kids without a peep, and I realized that he really doesn't get how hard I've worked over the years- so I said something- and then it went on and on- one ego fighting the other. It was stupid and pointless. I'll never get him to say what he needs to say- that he's amazed that I managed to do so much without much help from him over the past 20 or so years, and that he really appreciates me and thinks I'm incredible. (I could go on....haha)

     I don't come on here much anymore. It was so helpful to me when I was down and having some rough times but I'm so tired of thinking about myself and my issues now. I just want to DO stuff, get things done, relax, watch my kids, get healthy, make love not war, work in my flower beds or something. I don't want to think anymore, that doesn't get me anywhere.