cinaflower's Journal

I'm at work, trying to relax on my lunch break.

Things have been going okay lately. Despite what I've been trying to do to lose weight, I am actually gaining weight. I have to take it up a notch, I suppose. I'm actually the biggest I've been in three years and I gained it all right in the belly! I'm very disappointed, but I still like myself and have fun. I'm not depressed or in a bad mood or bitchy in the least, so that's good.

I sprained my ankle Tuesday night and that sucks the big one. I was stepping off my deck carrying some plants and twisted my ankle. Thank goodness it isn't worse. Last year, in April sometime I did the same freaking thing- except it was the other ankle and the other side of my deck!!!! WTF!!! I have Meniere's disease so my balance isn't good and both times I was carrying something and couldn't see where my feet were going and I was wearing flip flops. So, now I know what NOT to do. I can't walk off my deck carrying something while I'm wearing flip flops. DUH!

When I fell I didn't hurt my wrist or scrape anything up this time, and although I did get sick to my stomach, dizzy, and broke into a cold sweat from the shock/pain- I could tell it wasn't as bad as the last time, so I was there on the ground on all fours trying to breathe and get my crap together- and the h and the kids were asking me questions and I was cursing and telling them to leave me alone. I'm not graceful when hurt, at all. So, finally after I can just sit the h brings me an ice pack and I put that on for a while and he sits next to me and I say, why does sh-- like this keep happening to me? And he says, it could be worse, you could've also been raped by a polar bear while you were on all fours. LOL! Yes, so true. I should be grateful.

So, yesterday I was still limping a lot and I decided to stay home and keep my leg up and it was actually a nice day. I watched all the morning shows, read, wrote, relaxed and drank coffee, made myself and omelet. I took a bath and then an hour nap. It wasn't bad for being hurt! My leg hurts now- the opposite leg from the hurt ankle, I must've pulled the muscle in my thigh and hurt my knee somehow in all of it because that hurts worse than the ankle now. I'm wearing a brace and limping and very slow- but I can get around and the ankle is just stiff and sore now.

To put a cherry on top of a perfectly crazy week, I'm getting a cold again. Thanks a lot!!!

I gotta laugh to keep from crying.

I decided not to try to run for a while- obviously my Olympic career has been put on hold. I'm going to focus on walking, strength training, and eating less carbs for a while because that just seems simpler and easier until I get into the groove, for now.

Work is crazy right now. I just want to disappear when I'm here. I'm so tired of the pressure- I can't keep up with everything and when you have kids that are doing insane things it's very hard to keep being patient day after day. I want to go work in flowerbeds or something peaceful like that. One day.