cinaflower's Journal

It's been a while since I've been on. I've really been trying not to be on the computer as much, it drains so much time and I don't want to be sitting on my butt as much. I want to be as active as possible and get things done around the house and go exercise.

The boys had really let their grades slide and their last report card was awful, so we had to get on that. They are both doing much better with our constant attention and staying on them.

The 10 year old is more naturally motivated and capable of doing his work, he just forgets things, his books, his homework, that he has a test. The 14 year old is very very dyslexic so everything is a struggle. He can't spell, he has trouble with writing, his reading ability is okay, but he can't figure out big words, his reading comprehension, his ability to follow directions, to be organized mentally and physically- all of that is difficult- he really has a hard time in school. I know he'll be good at whatever interests him- but all this paper/pencil stuff in school kills him and it always will. Only 4 more years- if he doesn't fail a grade!!!! Give me strength to get him through it!!!

I've been doing better, for the most part- especially considering how far I"ve come since I first got on here and thought I was headed for divorce- when I was actually looking forward to sending the h packing one day. I've come a long way in accepting things, of not being so hard on myself and everyone. I've learned to let go and to take responsibility, rather than blame others for my feelings.

I don't have it all figured out, I probably never will, but if I can manage to feel peaceful about what IS at any given moment, I think that will be pure bliss.

I've been doing relatively well on my journey to getting fit. I've lost some pounds, but more importantly I've gotten fitter and firmer, and I feel so much better about myself. The eating is hard for me, I did really well for about 3 weeks and then ate some cake at my dad's house and then I didn't eat as wonderfully for a couple of weeks- but it was still way better than how I used to eat. I still make healthy choices in food most of the time, so I can feel good about that. I do need to turn the dieting up a notch and start recording what I eat again, that really helps. Without a doubt, I really have to give up sugar. I've known this, but I'll make excuses or read something, or whatever- but it always makes me eat bad, have cravings and gain weight. It's my crack. Sugar=crack!

I exercise almost every day. I don't let a day or two go by- I generally wake up thinking, when am I going to exercise and what am I going to do? I need to do that about food and plan it better.

Today is absolutely beautiful here, a breezy sunshiney 70ish day. I need to get outside, although I have a buttload of laundry to do, but there's the night time for that, right? I'm going to go for a long walk, go plant some flowers, clean up the yard a little. That's heaven for me.