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Give cinaflower a Hug

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  kweeks2006 (11/06/08)

  Things sound great for you. I'm glad to hear you and your husbands counseling is going good. Keep up the good work. kelly
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  kweeks2006 (11/05/08)

  Sounds like everything is going good for you. Have fun with that puppy they are so cute and full of energy.
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  aranea (11/01/08)

  Hey hunny! I'm so glad the counselling is proving helpful - wow you deserve it with all the hard work you have done - you will go on to have a wonderful relationship. Have missed you but lots going on here. Hugs would be good. Take care of you xxxxx
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  sdv (10/31/08)

  Don't remember how old your boys are, but they are never too old for Halloween Have a safe and happy one. SDV
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  kweeks2006 (10/25/08)

  Hi I hope you feel better, I've been sick to I had to go in for a sinus infection. My face has been so swollen. Rest is good for us to get better. Have a good day tomarrow. kelly
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  kweeks2006 (10/18/08)

  Congrads on your session with your husband. What a great accomplishment. Be proud and take those baby steps forward. It will all work out. kelly
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  SC1199 (10/15/08)

  Yeah. I agree. To men asked me to have sex with then in Hana and said they know me on DS. Hana, Hawaii is a small place. I think they came from the big island. I ran from them and told a police man.
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  kweeks2006 (10/14/08)

  Sorry to hear you re so tired, i'm kind of petering out as my night is going on. That time of month, lol it sure is getting harder on the body as i get older. I hope tomarrow is better for you.
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  kweeks2006 (10/14/08)

  Hello and how is your day going? Mine is good. I cut the grass blew the leaves out of the yard, cleaned 2 houses, ran some errands and still going. A womans job is never done. lol
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  SC1199 (10/14/08)

  Your questions: Do you ever think that the further you get away from it, the more you move on, the more you work through it, the more you find people you can trust who care about you that you can have a satisfying life? Maybe one day you'll have so many good moments that they'll all melt together and it'll be a good life? NO ONE, even people who have great childhoods and parents and all of that crap are perfectly happy- it's this big secret old people like us are trying to keep (shhhh!) Life is hard for everyone- but it's worth that great day at the beach when everything feels just right and you don't think about anything except for that beautiful day and a good wave. Good moments are what we all live for. You will have more and more and more. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My answer: I do. Sometimes like 20 minutes ago I felt like picking up Mom's gun and blowing off my head. The truth is, I haven't really slept well in 3 days, always dreaming that same constant dream, where my father is forcing my brother to kiss my neck and whisper sweet words in my hearing aids while he inserts him 6" penis in my 8 year old anus. It still makes me cry to think about it. But the more and more I say it, fathers power diminishes over me. Though I still have trouble sleeping. Tonight I put the gun back in the bottom drawer of mother's hope chest, under here wedding dress and the book of unnumbered lies, starting with Genesis. Afterward I grabbed my board and ran out into the white moon-lit foam. As I sit out on the black velvet of ocean I can feel the fish, some big, some small, dart in and around my legs under my board. I lean forward feeling the warm wet tea called the Pacific and listen to the moaning love songs of the humpback whale near by. I know at this moment that redemption is possible, and maybe there aren't all lies in that book ending with revelations. What kind I wonder....

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