ginebra's Journal

I saw my Therapist yesterday and it turned out to be a real good session for me. I had been quite depressed for over a week because of my upcoming birthday which thankfully has come and gone. She pointed out to me several things i have heard from SO MANY people but somehow yesterday when she told me, it "seemed" like it sunk in.

She recounted to me a feature story in Oprah of 6 women who contracted HIV from the same man and these women banded together and successfully were able to get this man indicted.

I have been very mopey because I am lonely and alone. But I realized after hearing that story that I still have so much to be thankful for and to live for.

Yes my ex-bf hurt me beyond words, he mistreated me, ge lied, cheated, used, manipulated me then walked out on me BUT...I still have my health. I did not contract HIV or AIDS or STD thank God...and my ex-bf could easily have infected me with his sexual promiscuity but God was good and protected me and I walked away with a clean bill of health from my Doctor. That alone is such a good reason to be grateful.

Now that my ex-bf is gone, he can no longer use me, lie to me, cheat on me, hurt me, manipulate me, make me feel I am less...that i am not good enough...I am inadequate. I am no longer subjected to that kind of abuse, control and hurt. I am free from that.

Becauseof my loneliness I started idealizing him in my mind again and minimizing all the things he did wrong. But I realize and I am "beginning" to actually believe my Therapist that I do not deserve to be treated in that manner and that I DO deserve better.

I just walked away from my Therapy session feeling renewed, recharged and a better appreciation for myself and who I am and what I bring to the table.

Thank you that I am healthy and I am free from his abuse and mistreatment.

 I am more than enough!