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AdeinEngland 
2:57am, July 15, 2009
On Monday morning i made a joke with someone at work about how when you give up smoking, your body rewards you with illness and you get a hacky cough, you feel like $hit and generally sound about as healthy as a 60 year old that made some bad decisions.
So while i was sat, basically being as smug as i could be without physically deforming my face (with one eyebrow up, Roger Moore style) - little did i know but my body was about to bequeth a little surprise for me before it bowed out for a week.
Right on cue, i started coughing, i started sneezing - on a couple of occasions the cough didnt want to be upstaged by the sneeze and a "snoughed". For anyone thats ever done this it sounds ridiculous and because you're breathing in just before you cough, but breathing out rapidly from the sneeze - YOU BURP.
"Brrrrrrrrrrrrrp"
"Ade, you are not in your living room anymore, you are in the office!"
"You should really moonlight as a SatNav."
After approximately 8 hours of work, which is 480 minutes and roughly 1,926 coughs - i made my way home and i swear the closer i got, the more comfortable my body was in shutting down. I felt like an Aids sufferer circa-1985 fulfilling his bumming-quota - every pitstop another organ shuts down. Like when i got to the train station from work my eyes went watery and would barely stay open. When i got off at my stop my bones started acheing. By the time i got to my door my arms had fallen off and i could've sworn i heard my hips go "Won't be needing these anymore" and my legs flew off.
Now having watched quite a lot of overhyped, massively conservative, overblown, panic-mongering news shows - we'll call them Fox Bullatins (or Sky here in London), i became a tad concerned that even though i had no fever or loss of appetite, the cough, sneezing, snoughing, achey bones and very serious relentless, acute hypochondria all pointed squarely towards this Swine Flu business. So i got myself into a right panic, left work early on Tuesday and stayed at home the rest of the week. But i cant help thinking that maybe my body was weakened by its dependency on booze before hand - and not getting that - its become more succeptible to a cold/cough etc.
Or maybe this is fate coming in saying "Hey buddy! if you're sick then you can't go out!" - how many times have people been ill and consequently not smoked for 2 days or so? So when i'm iLL i guess it's understandable that i wouldn't fancy a drink.
Although, thinking of it now has anyone else ever been knees deep in alcoholism where they can feel a bout of sickness coming on and conciously think "Well if i'm gona feel like $hit tomorrow, i may as well have a good night behind it. Onward!"
So here i am sat updating my blog/posting a topic looking for empathy, coughing my guts up and generally looking like my immune system is a bit of velcro and every illness known to man are respective bits of cotton wool thrown on me as i sprint through a South London hospital.
I've tried absolutely EVERYTHING... i've gotten rest... ive drunk lots of fluids... ive taken paracetomol but nothing, NOTHING...
...can help me to regain my Roger Moore smug eyebrow look.
If someone could help me with that, i'd be eternally grateful. I've noticed its the one topic that doesn't appear to have a separate mourning/grief/loss thread for me to join.
Answers on a post-card.
Ade
So while i was sat, basically being as smug as i could be without physically deforming my face (with one eyebrow up, Roger Moore style) - little did i know but my body was about to bequeth a little surprise for me before it bowed out for a week.
Right on cue, i started coughing, i started sneezing - on a couple of occasions the cough didnt want to be upstaged by the sneeze and a "snoughed". For anyone thats ever done this it sounds ridiculous and because you're breathing in just before you cough, but breathing out rapidly from the sneeze - YOU BURP.
"Brrrrrrrrrrrrrp"
"Ade, you are not in your living room anymore, you are in the office!"
"You should really moonlight as a SatNav."
After approximately 8 hours of work, which is 480 minutes and roughly 1,926 coughs - i made my way home and i swear the closer i got, the more comfortable my body was in shutting down. I felt like an Aids sufferer circa-1985 fulfilling his bumming-quota - every pitstop another organ shuts down. Like when i got to the train station from work my eyes went watery and would barely stay open. When i got off at my stop my bones started acheing. By the time i got to my door my arms had fallen off and i could've sworn i heard my hips go "Won't be needing these anymore" and my legs flew off.
Now having watched quite a lot of overhyped, massively conservative, overblown, panic-mongering news shows - we'll call them Fox Bullatins (or Sky here in London), i became a tad concerned that even though i had no fever or loss of appetite, the cough, sneezing, snoughing, achey bones and very serious relentless, acute hypochondria all pointed squarely towards this Swine Flu business. So i got myself into a right panic, left work early on Tuesday and stayed at home the rest of the week. But i cant help thinking that maybe my body was weakened by its dependency on booze before hand - and not getting that - its become more succeptible to a cold/cough etc.
Or maybe this is fate coming in saying "Hey buddy! if you're sick then you can't go out!" - how many times have people been ill and consequently not smoked for 2 days or so? So when i'm iLL i guess it's understandable that i wouldn't fancy a drink.
Although, thinking of it now has anyone else ever been knees deep in alcoholism where they can feel a bout of sickness coming on and conciously think "Well if i'm gona feel like $hit tomorrow, i may as well have a good night behind it. Onward!"
So here i am sat updating my blog/posting a topic looking for empathy, coughing my guts up and generally looking like my immune system is a bit of velcro and every illness known to man are respective bits of cotton wool thrown on me as i sprint through a South London hospital.
I've tried absolutely EVERYTHING... i've gotten rest... ive drunk lots of fluids... ive taken paracetomol but nothing, NOTHING...
...can help me to regain my Roger Moore smug eyebrow look.
If someone could help me with that, i'd be eternally grateful. I've noticed its the one topic that doesn't appear to have a separate mourning/grief/loss thread for me to join.
Answers on a post-card.
Ade
Comments
Have you tried fasting? I know that sounds so un fun but when you are sick the body needs to repair itself and if it has to digest food constantly then that is hampered. It is hard to do, and you will be really hungry the 1st day or two. But if you drink lots of water or even drink fresh raw juice only your body won't have to work so hard to repair itself and after 3 days you will feel awesome. If you arent likely to give that a go, lemon really helps to cut mucus and raw garlic. I would obviously do more research online but it works for me :)
boydka