Journal

well one min. he want to be nice the next he's mean. I can't deal with the daily changes of behavior.

HE keeps asking me for sexual favors and I keep saying No. He keeps trying to touch me and I keep pulling away from him. And when I tell him no or pull away, he make some sarcastic comment and then he'll do somethingto get back at me. This time it was to discontinue my AOL account I can't stand his touch anymore.
Posted on 07/06/09, 09:07 pm

Like I said before, I have been married for 12 years and I have four children. During these last 7 years are marriage has taken a turn. We have been through the fires of economy pressures and woos.We have no communication once so ever and I have told him this time and time again.I can't express my feeling to him because he'll turn around and throw them in my face.When hegets upset, I get the silent treatment and the kids get screamed at. We start walking on eggshells around him. I keep saying that this cycle has to end never really understanding that I was hitting on something big.I was and am in an abusive cycle.The kids toys have been thrown away, my things have been thrown away. I suffer from anxiety attacks and have had three nerves breakdowns. Two in front of my kids.I left once and came back after we went to counceling. Things were ok at first but then they start up again withthe belittling, the name calling, the blaming things on me. It wasn't until we back to counceling that i realize that I was being abused. The councelor had a sheet of paper on the table that asked are you in a abusive relationship and almost everything listed pertained to me. Well I have told him again for the fouth time that I want out. This time hehas threaten to kill himself because he can't live without me.I'm on the edge because I'm starting to hate this person.I feel like I'm about to snap. I have friends who tell he is crazy and that they areworried for me.If it wasn't formy kids I think I would of along time ago.