Alliejames's Journal

someone gets in my face and disagrees with me strongly?

I had a "back and forth" with someone on Facebook and I shouldn't let it get to me, but I do.  I don't feel like I can argue with anyone because I can't pull out the facts that I need when I need them.  I feel too threatened when someone says, "You're wrong," because I don't feel as if I can appropriately defend myself--and even if I do, more often than not no one seems willing to say that at least I have a point, even if they don't agree with me. 

I always seem to be on the losing end of so many arguments.  And I have been told that I don't have the gift of debate.  That's why--it's because I feel this sense of threat.  I'm afraid of no one listening and I'm afraid of making a fool out of myself if I try to explain/defend myself--and if I say nothing, I end up *feeling* like a fool. 

I hate this.

I still resent having been told that I didn't care about Matthew because of my politics, and that I wanted benefits for me but didn't want anyone else to have them.  The person that told me that didn't listen when I said that that wasn't true.  She commented that I had complained "bitterly" about my problems with Medicaid, yet on the other hand, I'd said that I didn't think government ought to be in the business of providing health care.  (The system is broken.  I just have no decent suggestions on how to fix it.) 

I want to be able to disagree with someone without feeling such a sense of threat!!!