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MollM 
12:53pm, August 5, 2009
Over the past couple of weeks it seems I regressed. Prior to that I had
been moving forward, I even said to my therapist that I was able to
think of him and feel indifferent, neutral. It seems immediately I said
that everything went haywire. In some respects there is a lot I don't miss,
I know its sick but I still feel protective towards him, I feel he's
heading for a fall when it all turns to custard, but then again maybe it won't.
I have to stop thinking about him and his life and think about my future but
its hard as I have done it for soooooo long.I think its definately an addiction and I have to let go.
An addiction I have had for many years, I think maybe I never really
trusted him and this made me very insecure most of the time. It
seems to have been such a long time since I felt joy. its time.
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Be a happy person
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Yes, MollM, it is time to let go and feel joy, happiness, my friend, the hard truth is that he is not worried about you or you happiness. I feel the same, about when she lets him fall, I really feel they will let them fall, but this was a choice they made. it was not a choice he even confided with you about. it was their choice and they are big boys, they need to fall.
But you need to move on, be happy, do for you, and trust me it is not an easy thing to do at first, I am still having to make myself do for me.
I am with you all the way my friend, hold your head up high, and remember happiness is the best payback. (((huggggssss)))
pmpda