mermaidgirl23's Journal

 i just moved to my older sisters in newport beach, and we have gone out twice and i have gone out one other time with a guy i met out with her. what i really don't get is why people act the way they act. maybe i just need to relax and let go, but i know i wont because to me that is kinda of being lose. i need to take a very deep breath, i really don't like having to point out the common sense in situations. no one really listens anyway because i am not experienced with people. i don't know, i'm frustrated, it gets me down, but i have to pick myself back up, no matter what or i will start having depressing thoughts. its really really rediculous, but i do deal with thoughts of suicide and i hate it, it hasn't been that bad since just about a year ago, before it would be everyday, multiple time; but in the last month its only been every other day or every two days. its not that bad since i've dealt with it since i was 15, its just another thing in my head. i really want to be positive person and have been and that is going really good i have a great self-esteem, i know who i am, i just want someone else to see that and love me for it. i know nothing will happen over night, its a thing in progress and i am a patient person, its just i think that everyone around me thinks its a joke.