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rach92167 
5:18pm, September 20, 2009
I thought it would be a better day. I took a nap and just relaxed. I all of a sudden got this really lonly feeling. I had too leave because I just started to cry. I knew it would get worse then better. I wanted to drink so bad but I didn't and I still feel alone. I know my h is not understanding me and any feeliings I have are wrong or just because of my childhood. i wish I could write as well as other members of DS but what I write is what yiu get.
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Ok., I have had 2 bad days and one good day. Monday was really bad, I didn't think I would make it. That's where my mind goes when I'm my wits end. Tuesday not so great and today was good. I feel that in between stage of "normal" and I don't know how to describe the other. I have not had a drink in 15 days and don't want to. I still have that scared feeling about the money I owe and don't know - well strength to solve it. I wish I hadn't put myself into this mess, but I did manic and drinking and the internet do not go together. I hope everyone is doing well. Have a blessed night and day.
rach92167