Leraje's Journal

There seems to be this epic battle in my life over who controls my life. My step father seems to think no more of me than he does my three year old son. I can't even open the pantry to get a snack without having to explain myself to him, and as far as my hobbies go like gaming...lets just say that any type of gaming is just unacceptable, unless its suduko or spider solitare. If one night I stay awake past midnight, then it the game and I am ruining my life. lets not to mention they'll cut off the internet, but for some odd reason my parents dont seem to understand, I wake up to their consistant nagging, so starting at 7am its "do this, do that" and "I want this done" or "since your so free" and its like that until they go to bed, which is anywheres from midnight to 2 or 3am, so where the hell is the time to myself? why is it that if I do something solely for myself such as playing a game while my son is a sleep such a bad thing? Its not like my day is affected by it, sure around dinner time I might feel the side effects from so little sleep, but hey my son gets three hot meals a day 2 snacks, we go to the park or swimming daily, we work in my garden together, we do art crafts daily. Its not like hes neglected in anyway.

I know I am a good mother,

I know I am a decent person,

I know I am smart, 

I know I am hard working. 

What I don't get is why it has to be such a bad thing to my parents that 

I am a young mother 

I am a single mother

I am having to get help to pay for things like health insurance.

why is it that because I am these things that I don't deserve 

Friends

Time to myself

Eating healthy

weekly trips to places like art museums and science museums?

It just doesnt make sense to me.