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hurtin4curtin 
I found another job site devoted to matching families with nannies/babysitters. It is so tough to be in the position of desparately needing to work, but not even knowing how much I can handle physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.....sigh.....sigh.....sigh.
I'm so missing the old me. The confident, healthy, strong me. I have never had trouble finding a job, and certainly have not had the kind of fear I have now even thinking about job interviews. This disorder, this fibrobeast affects e v e r y t h i n g! I HATE these things that have destroyed my life as I knew it. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!! DAMN IT.....I WANT MY OLD SELF BACK!!!!!
Alas, I know it isn't possible. I know I have to make the best of what is. I just need the courage to accept what is, and be grateful for what was.
UPDATED GOALS
Get nanny/b-sit job f/t
Progress 5%
Encouragements: 0
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I/we all understand the feeling very well. I haven't had time to go through your journals, but are you taking a water pill? I know that when my legs were swollen the doc gave me a water pill and told me to get support hose, knee height, to help my legs. Just a thought, but they both helped me. Take care and know that you will have better days ahead, and God is always there to help you through. (((((((((hugs)))))))))
Doris104
Thanks for the advice and the encouragement Doris. Gentle hugs right back at ya!
hurtin4curtin