Join Now
desha 
2:05pm, June 29, 2009
Well things hve been a little better day by day.. im just trying to live a normal life. I know my life is n Gods hands and he has a purpose for my life.. and everything will be ok.. its just a different path that i have to take.. my heart is trying to heal i pray that god would take away the anger and he did.. somedays are better than others.. i even feel like i forgive him for doing that to me.. i speak to him everynow and then but it will never be the same.. he cant understand that but its not healthy for me or for him. i am now praying that God will take the feeling i have for him totally away.. cause after all it was all built on a lie.. 
well it has been a week since i have been diagnosed.. .i feel angry at times and sometimes im ok. because i know i can still live.. i just am so angry at him from time to time and the thing is he still tries and call saying he's sorry but he's has done so much damage that i cant believe he would have the nerve to still call like everything is ok.. the sad part is somewhere a part of me still missess him but i pray God will take that away cause i know if he really loved me he would have said something about him being HIV positive.. tears......
Comments
Dear Desha,
Your feelings will change.
I have lived with HIV for more than 20 years.
At some point in the future, you will come to understand that this is your life and you will also come to understand that there are many wonderful and exciting aspects to being HIV positive.
This is not a glib cliche! Your life will probably not be what you expected however that does not mean that your life must be less or even diminished in any way.
Being HIV positive will bring to you a new prespective and a different ways of thinking. This newness will be frightening to you at first. Remember new and different are not bad. Try to accept these new feelings and ideas.
Give yourself an opportunity to think and feel without judging yourself or others.
Be proud you are positive. Take joy in your experences!
rerolpxedaily