luvevery01's Journal

so its been awhile since ive been on and a lot has happen.

first off i had the biggest obstacle of my life.  i had to talk to my father. it didnt really solve everything but i finally got my words out to him but i dont even think he listened.

i stopped going to therapy after that. that was the main reason i went to be able to handle my father. i feel like i have been handling things a lot better i still have thoughs days i just wanna die. life is still so rough.

i cant quit smoking even though i really dont want to. but i feel like i should because its really not that good for me but it helps get threw the day.

i have a new boy in my life wel actually an old boy lol. im ex boyfriend mike and i got back together last night on halloween. whats so funny is that last time he asked me out it was on the anniversary of my bff's cousin's death. and now halloween. lol i guess we like holidays lol

i dont know what it is with that kid but i think i for reallove him. he's the only guy ive ever been able to talk to before and feel comfortable around. he makes me feel like its okay to be me and i havent felt like me in forever. tasha changed me and me and her dont talk anymore cause apparently im not aloud to hang out with anyone or "im ditching" her. thats some old bullshit. but its been almost a week now where i havent been around her and im finally turning into myself again. and i absoluately love it. lol i think my bff that i have had the longest, scotty, brings out the best in me just like mike says. i'm patty and i dont have to act like anyone else.

i hate girls and i think i finally realized why because they change you. when girls are around each other they act like each other and i hate that. and thats why. but im tired and im gonna go to sleep update in another week or so... night.