Journal

I wish I understood why this has to happen to us!

Only a small percentage of people win the lottery... well, we won the one no one wants to win. A genetic lottery where you end up with a disease or syndrome only about 5% of the population gets. Yay us!

I hated my doctor when she told me. Her calm voice sounded like she was telling me my eyes are green. However, her words were telling me that I might never have children. I sat there in complete shock. I left the office in shock. I called my Mother in shock. However, as soon as the words left my mouth to tell my Mom, I lost it. I was screaming and crying. 

I just cannot believe how emotionless she was. Like she says it all the time. Ughh.. I wish I could have been a doctor, I have such a big heart. If I had to say something like that, I would instantly give my patient a hug and tell her it will be OK. That there is a chance of pregnancy and if not there are children all over the world who need a loving home. But no, she just said what she said & walked out. GOD! 

I have 12 nieces & nephews. Children are my world. I've always thought about having children. I've had names picked out since I was like 16! 

I am just trying to keep a positive attitude and doing everything I can to make myself healthy enough to have a child.