Journal

not much has ben going on.  I have been preparing for my new (voluntary, so not paid) career as a regular pioneer (seemy previous journal entry if this makes no sense whatsoever to you).  I have pretty much organised things now so that everything will fit in, and Im hoping that I can stick with the plan because this has been a dream of mine for a whle now.

Aside from that, I have been failry busy at work and also am searching for a new addition for my family (I am single but I have a dog and am now looking to get a kitten).  Pets can make any hard day better just because they love you unconditionally (so long as you treat them properly).

So yeah, not much to write this journal entry, I guess I was just checking in.

Hang in there, the trials and troubles of this system under satans rule are nearly over.

Madeleine.

Well, today is a special day for me.  I just found out this morning at my local Kingdom Hall meeting that I have been approved to beome what is known as a Regulr Pioneer in the Jehovah's Witness organisation.  It is exciting for me, because I love my God Jehovah and I want to do what pleases Him.  So what is a Regular Pioneer? Well, Im sure every person on this site has had a visit from Jehovah's Witnesses at some time in their life.  This "witnessing" or teaching work is a work that the bible tells us to do (and if anyone has any questions about this let me know and ill do my best to answer them for you), and a regular pioneer is a Jehovah;s Witness in good standing with God who commits to spend at least 70 hours a month in the minstry work of door-todoor witnessing, for a minimum of 1 year.

This is a voluntary position, which I find that it often surprises people that we do not get paid for our work.  It comes from our willingness to live our lives (and that means every aspect of our lives) by bible principles.  

It is a privilidge to be approved to do the work of a regular pioneer, and I am looking forward to it.  I really enjoy meeting the people i talk with at the doors.  There is so muh diversity in the world and I love meeting new people.  The town in which i live is a fairly welcoming town and so the majority of people we meet at the doors are friendly even if they are not interested in learning about the bible and its message for us.

Its funny, when  I am talking to people about going out from door-to-door (which Jehovah's Witnesses refer to as "witnessing" since we are in effect "witnesses of our God Jehovah") the most commonly asked question I get is, "Dont you find a lot of people who abuse you or get nasty?"  And the answer: No.  Granted, the majority of people who we meet are not interested in why we are there, but it is rare for us to be met with abuse or real nastiness.  Most people are frienly enough.  And we really arent bothered if we meet the odd nasty person, because we respect that everyone has a right to their beliefs.  We are simply there to give everyone the opportunity to get to know God through his own inspired word, the bible, since the bible can be difficult to understand and we have been studying it for years, so we ofer to share what we have learned with everyone.  But we are realistic, knowing that not everyone we meet will be as interested as we are. 

But no, we dont meet really nasty people all that often, (Im not sure really about other counties but here in australia I have lived in quite a few places, and my experience has been more or less the same wherever I go).

So, you might ask, If hardly anyone is interested and you know they arent interested, why do you keep coming back?  Well, as I mentioned earlier, the command to do this teaching work is found in the bible.  So we do it.  We visit the same houses again and again because each time we go, we might meet a different person, orcircumstances might have changed and the person might have had something happen that makes them wonder.  So thats why we keep coming back.  It isnt to "bug" you, It isnt to "bible-bash" you.  Its just to see if you have changed your mind, or if someone else who lives there has changed their minds.

We certainly dont mean any harm by calling.

Anyway, this has got all off-topic.  I was just so excited about being given this opportunity and priviledge to regular pioneer as a Jehovahs Witness, and I wanted to share it with my friends and everyone else here.

 I hope you are all going well, and are staying strong.

Peace to you all,

Madeleine.

Well, all I can say about the convention i wwent to is that is was absolutely AWESOME!  I had a great time.  It has built up my spirituality, I feel closer to my God, and there was the added bonus of catching up with quite a few friends who i haven't seen since last years convention.

Now i'm back home again, I have to try and keep my spirituality level up in daily life and be the person I know my God wants me to be.

I wont say anything about what I learned from the convention, not because I don't want to, but because there are other people I know who use this site, who will be going to the same convention held somewhere else in thw world, and I dont want to spoil anything for them.  If I was to say everything I had learned then it would be like me opening a present of theirs for them before it was even time for them to have the present. So I wontdo that, but I will sy it was awesome.

Im going away again in a few weeks.  My mum and I are going up to the city for a shopping spree.  There arent many shops here, so every so often, my mum and I do a "bonding excercise" and go shopping together.  I like shopping with my mum, she gives me an honest opinion.  If she doesnt like something she will tell me, and I will do the same.  I value her opinion on things.

But for now, its just back to the daily grind.  Back to the old routine.  Im glad I have it though.  My depression gets out of control if I dont have a routine and stick to it.  I dont know how people cope without a routine.

I can't remember if I told you in my first journal or not, but I have a problem with self-harm.  It is fairly under control, and Im working with people both in theraoy and in my congregation (seperately,but both consentingly) to try and curb this bad habit.  I started a few years ago, when I was particularly low and I quite frankly at the time, did not care if I lived or died, and absently went to the kitchensink and then looked down to discover i was cutting my wrists.  Needles to say, I didnt cut them very badky, but I did realise the immediate benefits I got from self-harm and it has been a constant battle since then for me to keep t under control.

What I wanted to say in mentioning this, was that I found that while I was in the city with my brothers and sisters (the term witneses use for fellow witnesss, regarless of "rank" - Even the leaders of the congregations are referred to as Brother) anway, when I was surrounded by my best friends and in a safe environment, I felt no urges whatsoever. It was wonderful.  I didnt even realise it until I was on the bus on my way back here that I had gone the whole weekend without having an urge to self-harm.  Itis the first time in about 6 months that I have done that and it was a good feeling. 

anyway, it's a bit of a silly point really.  But I just felt like sharing it with you, thatI had a little triumph(even if temporary) over a "thorn in the flesh".  

Anyway, It is late so I'm off to bed, but I hope my new friends here are doing ok. And I hope everyone else is finding the strength to cope as well. I know it cn be hard sometimes, but from what I have experienced and seen others experience, it is worth the fight.

 Roll on the new system. 

 Madeleine