cortextoom's Journal

hi people i hope you feel better , i am doing quite well, i have been having severe anxiety for a long time more than 6 months coz of this ibs, i thought of getting gastric bypass in order not to be tempted to eat trigger foods (eg fats , carrots and gluten, sugars my big triggers) these foods cause me constipation (rabbit or no poo) ....however i adopted a new diet of veg , fish and chicken, and cereals and occasionally brown bread ( i cannot eat it often coz of the ibs problem but i need to get nutrients so i try to eat  one piece), this diet works great, not much pain, although i get on occasion when i eat some gluten in order to get some energy, (however i am going to buy gluten free foods soon i hope), i am rarely constipated and have one bm per day since i don't eat much i expect to have only one bm (i guess normal as long as input = output), you will. assume i lost a lot of weight! true because i now fit in a size 12 and sometimes size 10 (my mother wears size 10-12 she weights 50kgs) strange enough at 63 kgs i can wear her clothes, my fat has gone, and i can never explain why i weigh 60kgs or a bit more i exercise 20 mins, exercising involves, running on a rowing machine, its like you are on abike but you are not seated, but rowing for 20- 23 mins sometimes even half an hour without stopping on level 5 and even 8, the hardest of all, exercise build up muscle which weigh more than fat, probably that's why the scale are always showing 10 st, because fat is getting reversed by muscle...except for slightly my tighs my body feels firm...little fat cannot weigh that much, so again i blame i am replacing fat by muscle and i'm not getting any thin but muscular, if anyone has any hint how to get rid of big muscles i would be glad to know, as a mesomorph i build up muscle easily so i better not overtrain, i don't like looking like a man due to muscle mass...

well, the most important thing is that my ibs now is better, at times i get pain, mainly when i eat fats, chicken has got some fats, but a little, still they make me bloated but the body needs nutrients, and i am often hungry, so i treat myself with fish or chicken i don't want to be tired all the time too..i like to devide my food into three times, breakfast, lunch and dinner.....but i want to take less than 1000 cal at the moment..it works i'm satisfied with even less than that..., i m not adviced to attend the gastric bypass, my doctor says that i don't even weigh as i am saying 10 st, i'm 5'2 tall but at times i look 5'3 on heals, so 10 st is enough, without leg muscles i probably weigh 9 st. ok i think i have written too long, but i believe the way to loose muscle s to  just diet but not sure! any help would be appreciated.