Journal

In January he was diagnosed with esophagal cancer,they operated om March 11 '09 anf found out that he had staomch cancer and removed 3/4 's of his stomach. Path  report came back and there is still cancer cells at the join which is directly over the heart(a crucial fact when radiation is going to be part of the treatment.In the past month(June) we have driven to Regina every week or sometimes twice. It is 3.5 hrs one way. We been consulting with the chemo dr and the radiation dr and they have been doing many tests and theres also always the concern about the low red and white blood cells

Treatment(chemo) was suppose to start last week and when we went in,Euc's chemo dr said that tests show he has MM and he would be referring him to a specialist in that field. We have an appointment on the 29th.He has lost 70 lbs and can hardly eat any foods because of the surgery. He is very sick now how can he live through treatment. For 2 cancers!!! One there is no cure for and the other id going to require intense radiation of his heart for 5days for 5 weeks. And ther is no way they can protect his heart.

Money-only his old age pension and supplement.

I am scared,lonely,angry and feel like I'm drowning.

I need to be able to be what my husband needs.

I found this site last night,I was looking for that poem that says what cancer cannot take from you! I was feeling just totally beaten and  felt that cancer has taken  or in the process of taking everything away from me.I still feel like that. My husband retired last summer and we moved to this small town and absolutely love it.We sold our house ,didn't make any money but walked away debt free. We rented a house and ,Euc (my husband) was working 4hrs /day /week. He really enjoyed *his work* as it was more of an appointment job and the owner  really appreciated having Euc (something his former employer(of 40 yrs) didn't)

Our 3 children are adults and have chosen wonderful spouses and are very busy living life and we keep in touch often.

During the move last summer,Euc was feeling nausous ,but it was off and on and he was finishing his job and doing all the moving himself,and selling the house,we just thought *stress*. We settled down and were enjoying our time together as I had 2 children when he started dating me. Then we had another child.

He had trouble eating and tended to choke on many foods.