brendareep's Journal

I cannot believe it!

I woke up this morning from a dream.  I was teaching choir and my students were all singing "Born to Hand Jive, Baby" from Grease and they were doing this awesome hand jive choreography.  When I woke up, I jumped out of bed and got dressed and felt like working.  So, today was my first day at the school since school let out on May 22.  I put away music and made plans to fix the costume closet and finish my keyboards shelf.  I was happy.

Just yesterday, I wanted to kill myself, and now this morning, I am happy, alive, energetic and ambitious.  I don't understand it.  Today feels like my normal self.  I am happy today, too.  I want to stay this way.  I stopped taking the Lithium and maybe now my thyroid can function better.

I have been dreaming of my dad and my husband the past couple of days, too.  I wonder if my dreams are working things out for me, like they are supposed to.  I am not analyzing my dreams, I am just ignoring them.  I hope this good feeling lasts for a while.  I don't want to overdo it, but I have to fight back a sneaking suspicion that it is just manic behavior and I am headed for another low.

I don't care.  I will take this as far as I can.