TeenyBeany's Journal

I'm pregnant. I'm about 10-12 weeks along. It's all estimating since I have yet to have a "normal" cycle. I was nursing my baby Conner until the end of Feb when he passed away. Everything was supposed to go back to normal a month later... but apparently... i'm preggo. Now, this shouldnt shock me considering i'm not on birth control, but yeah... I have such mixed feelings about it all. I'm so excited because i will be turning a new page and starting a new chapter, but i'm so confused and scared at the same time. I dont want my family to think that i'm "replacing" Conner. I'm also scared that if i'm having a boy, i'll look at him when I deliver and totally freak out due to him reminding me of Conner. I'm scared for Landon, my 2 year old, because I'm not sure if he's healed completely. Landon still talks about Conner and reminds me that he's in heaven... *sigh*

I told my mom about me being pregnant almost the moment i found out and she got extremely upset. I ended up moving out of her house a couple weeks ago and left my maternity clothes there with hopes that I could pick them up (along with a few other things) later down the line. Apparently she took all of my maternity clothes to the Salvation Army. My dad seems to be ok with the idea. He's happy for me as long as i'm happy.

Anyhow... other than that, things are going aok... *thud*