Journal

I'm relatively new here and haven't shared much. so this is all new to you!

I was placed in foster care just before I turned one, and was adopted after I turned four. It was a bit of a rough start to life. But my parents (adopted parents) are awesome, and my brothers (adopted also) are awesome and I can't complain.

I always wondered though. It's hard to go to new doctors and explain you have no family history. It's hard wondering. I must have strong genes, because even with different paternal genetic contributors, my children look very much alike.

I always knew I would search, and I let my parents know that the day I turned 18 and was legally able to do so. But it is not a cheap or easy thing to do. In 2000 I found a free online registry for adoptees and birthfamilies in my state and I registered.

TODAY I got an email that there might be a match. I could be hours or days away from being in contact with my birth-brother.

My heart rate is way up, my hands are shaking, I can't stop it. I cried when I first got the email. I replied right away and I swear I've been checking my email every 5 minutes ever since. I cannot wait to hear from him.

I can't remember being so excited and scared at the same time. I had to tell someone - my sister friends are not online or busy, I'm not sure how my parents will feel about this...but I can hardly contain myself!

This morning I began what I assume will be part of my morning ritual for the rest of my life - I took my synthetic thyroid hormone for the first time.

Can't say I'm feeling any different than yesterday.

Busy busy busy.

Oh, and just after I posted yesterday, the reason for my sadness became apparent - Mother Nature came to visit. BAH! I should have known, but since I'm post partum and just stopped nursing in June...

Got my bloodwork done yesterday. I don't have the actual results yet, just the call from my Endo confirming I am now hypO - 6 weeks post RAI. Will take synthroid (I think?) and she says not to go generic because of the variablilty in generic brands. Starting out at 75mcg. Actually missed her call, but I'll call or email her later today when I get a free moment.

For some reason, even though I knew based on my symptoms that the RAI worked and I was going hypO, I cried at the news. I cried!

I didn't get much sleep last night - haven't for the last few nights. Exhaustion could be wreaking havoc on my emotions. That and stress - work has been SO stressfull all month, and in my personal life dealing with my ADHD son, and his dad who is on a power trip so large he is making us both spend thousands of dollars on a Child and Family Investigator (CFI), who is just going to tell the Court what I've been saying for 9 years, and I can barely afford to pay the mortgage, let alone shell out a grand for a retainer for this person...

I know stress is not good with GD.

And in fact I have to go now because I have a training conference call ...