Micko9's Journal

So this is prob been one of the hardest weeks of my life and its just hit the wall....I sit outside and see eveyone else. They all have their "clicks" "crews" "friends" and there is me. Sitting on the bench by himself..with his iPod, losing the fight, loseing himself in the music....they don't make stuff for this SHIT!!!!!

I can't take it anymore. I can deal with all this Shit inside anymore, and need to find some way for it all to go away. I just want all this Pain to go away...I want it to end. I want to feel like me again, like i belong, that i have something to live for.

It all just left and decied to finally hit me with it. I just can do This....I want to stop this Pain, want it to go away...all this stuff in my head. I want it to leave...

I want to take my pills, finish my bottle, take whatever else i can find and End it all, End this Pain that i have, all this pain that i cause the peole I love, i want to just go away, maybe then they will be Happy. They can go on and live their lives better and they can fianlly be Happy.

I'm Sorry for all that i did to you D. I'm sorry i wasn't there when you needed me. Sorry i was think about me and not you, that i couldn't put myself through saying "Good-bye" again...guess i'm doing it now. I hope that things work out for you. I Love You and nothing will ever change that. You will always have a place in my heart.

My frends, hope you guys follow your dreams and don't let anyone tell you that you can't do anything. You guys have so much to give to this world...Yes its Fucked up, but you can help make it better....just don't Miss me to much.

I just can't do this...I can continue to live with all this Pain inside...i need to get it out and end it. It wasn't suppose to be this way, things were suppose to be better. I was suppose to be Happy, not Sad.....