Micko9's Journal

 So I guess we all have weeks when we just want to go in our rooms and never come out, hoping that for some stranger chance..when we do that Everything will be better. Well I am like that right now.

Two people I LOVE with all my heart and would do anything for our dying. Normaly, I am not the type to be negative but its like there is no other way to look at it.

1. There is Danielle, my ex girfriend/friend who recently told me that she has cervical cancer. She is not doing to well. They had her on chemo, but told her that they were stopping it because it was not working. Now she has to choice to have surgery or let it take its cource.  She doen't want the surgery because she still wants to have children.  She is going through it rough...her family is not always being there for her, and it seem like I am the only one that truly cares about her. But I am in PA and she is in CA. I want to vist her but I have an internship and can't leave till July 31.

2. There is my Grandma. She is 79 and is going down hill. She has been having problems with her liver and there isn't much they can do. She has sorosis of the liver and liver cancer. She has lived a good life, but its like looking at her, she isn't my grandma. She isn't her noraml self..she can't do any of the things she use to do and need to have someone there 24/7. My pap is trying, but he can only do and take so much too.

I laying in my room....thiniking....writting this. I am afraid, that I am going to lose them both. I see my grandma, but its hard to see her like that and I can't see Danielle.

I don't know what to do any more...all I can say is.........WHY???