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sheira 
2:27pm, November 14, 2009
Yesterday was very frustrating for me. I tried giving my husband a day to himself where he didn't have to deal with any kids and could just be his old self. I took the kids out to my moms before work and let him sleep in. After work I came home and my husband had been having a few beers with his friend in the hot tub. I found this good, not bad because he never drinks and never spends time with his friends. But the kids were going to be coming home soon so I told them to take the alcohol elsewhere....so they went fishing at the river.
My ss had ball practice so I had to rush and make supper and get everyone fed right away before he had to leave. When supper was ready I told him to come in and that his friend could come in and eat too if he wanted. Well my ss had to complain about the food I had made (as per usual) and he decided not to come and eat after finding out what it was. I had to feed the other kids, including a baby, so it was a bit too difficult to deal with his rebellion at that point. I couldn't believe he just didn't come in for supper. After supper I told him to come in and get ready for ball. He came in promptly for that, but was only in his room for 2 minutes when he came up "ready" for ball. He went outside and started playing with his friend right away again. I went out after him and asked if he was really ready for ball. He knocked his groin area cockily to show that he was wearing his can. I asked "so since you have your can on your ready? what about you contacts? baseball glove? batting gloves? Are you planning on changing your shirt? (he was wearing a collared polo shirt)" He realized he was not ready after all, but instead of feeling shamed, he glared at me like I was a she devil and stomped past me.
I was very mad and told my husband so when he got home and informed him that when my ss got home he was not allowed snacks because he wouldn't come in for supper. I went to put the other kids to bed and came out of the room to see that my ss had his friend back over and he was sleeping over! What kind of discipline is that? Than to make matters worse, my husband starts making burgers at 9 at night and makes my ss one. Totally underminding me. My SS then goes out of his way to interrupt me while I am feeding the baby to gloat about how good that burger was.
When I told my husband that he totally underminded me and if that were any of the other children that did what he did, they would have been disciplined, not treated....he totally spazzed at me saying that I hate his son. Since when is discipline hate?
Comments
Wow that brought back some memories. Britt was 4.5 years old when me and donna were married. She was so cute and happy full of energy. She long blond hair and blue eyes that would sparkel when she smiled.
Donna and britt live with at donna's parents the first 4.5 years little did I know what was about to happen. I was marked as the anti christ when me and donna became married. Our first christmas was ok but I felt that I was on display more than there for the holiday. The second christmas I was told I was not invited and donna was given a visitation order on britt. This I found to be realy awfull when most of the time donna stood up for her mom and dad.
Britt would come home from visitation with the grand parents and would walk in and say "how can we live like this". I was remodling a 2 story house with the old walls made of slat boards and plaster what a mess that can make lol. She would also come home and say how sandy said I was an a-- hole and I was not her dad and she did not have to listen to me. This continued for some time. As britt became a teen ager and the boy friend's became an issue not to mention woman hood. Things realy picked up for the worst. I had always thought that as much pain as I was put through I never thought that the grand parents would not support this issue at all was I so far from wrong lol.
So that is a little peice of what transpired which can give you an idea my hurtals leading to teen age zone. Britt had got in trouble on the school bus and I was driveing a tractor trailor at this time and donna had to drive britt to school for a month. Less than one week later she came in told her mom how she got an incedint on the bus again and like a good husband I had a comment or two for britt as I felt she was being unfair to donna after all she had to go through just to keep britt in school.
This led into me being satan and donna the hero and of all things that the whole issue was a lie because she wanted to see how her boyfriend was going to react.??????????
So I let britt know what I had learned and donna was mad at me pretty steamed per say and britt said no. Here I was 2000 miles from home donna upset at me because she felt I was being unfair too britt needless to say I was comeing home.
Britt had called childrens service on me and her mom and needless to say the case was closed quickly after the interveiw with me and donna but it did leave us tip toeing around her. I came home and this is where I can say I know how you feel. I am not into beating kids or wives think it to be sick actually but here I sat waiting and churning these thought's in my head. I had a woman who did not know what was going on who I love more than anything and a marriage of 9 years on the fritz of a 6 month puppy love test of faith. I was HOT.
Donna came home first and we talked and we talked and we talked. I told donna when britt came home we would be clearing the air and that she could say what she needed to say then but I at least wanted britt here b4 she set her mind in action.
When britt walked in the door I told her to tell her mom the truth. The fight was on. Britt showed her attitude which she was so used to expecting me to back down and kiss her feet she was far from correct I done had my fill. I pushed her against the wall while grabbing the phone I took my for arm just below her neck so I would not choke her but could hold her in place I had to make my stand. I handed her the phone and said call 911 if you feel you need to but your going to hear what I have to say. I told her that her little boy friend test of faith that she had put in a 9 year marriage. I explained that she was now playing an adult game and she was walking in my back yard. I told her I was tired of playing games with her afraid that she would call childrens service again and if she did not like what I was saying she could call them again but I was no longer playing she was going to take responsibility for her actions and leave me and donna out of the little games. Britt throught the phone at the couch and stormed off to her room and donna came to me and apologized for her actions. I told donna that I loved her but I could not be in the back seat and let a child run this show I was not going to accept her child driveing a wedge in our marriage over puppy love.
This was just one of many situations in raising our daughter and the same thought ran through my head as yours. I even asked god why and how could I feel the feelings I was feeling.
Britt is now 21 and she is now a mom and you know what. She has turned out great. She has grown up and is a realy responsible woman and a hard worker. The road was long and hard but it all worked out even though the light was almost gone. All I can say is hang in there focus on your love of you husband as his mate and remember the kids grow up and they will have there own life to live and it will be just you and your mate. I can say it was worth the hardships to have what me and my wife have now and would not trade anything for it.
I hope you can gain some strenght from this shareing and if you ever need to just vent to get the pain hurt anger out of you system to just get through the next day I am here and I know your pain. But keep strong and your love will guid you through your travels.
Jim72