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patrich 
A charmed life, that is really what someone outside looking in may think of my life, retired, now 53, nice place to live, not tied down to a job or anybody or anything, I am really quite blessed, I know that, I just struggle everyday with how my life tuned out, having it all then losing it all, had a nice home by the ocean, a beautiful wife, a good job, till one day when I discovered I had a brain tumor, I really was blessed as I could have died or been left paralyzed, that didn't happen, I did suffer and coninue to suffer with short and long term memory loss, so after several months of rehabilitation I tried to go back to work, and received so much harrasement because of the memory loss my Dr. had to pull me out of work, then we lost our home, then my wife of 30 yrs, I guess it was too much for her, and she drifted from me, I know it was hard on her, I just wish somehow she could have stuck it out, I wish she had more strength to be able to be there for me, wev'e been divorced over a year now, I am getting on with my life, although the lonliness is what is the toughest part for me, never expected to be alone after finding the one true love of your life, I know I don't love her anymore, but it is tough after spending more than half your life with someone then losing them, it is quite amazing to think the one you loved treated you as bad as your old employees because of your memory loss, but that is how she treated me, after we lost our home it was just all too much for her to bear. When I was making good money she didn't have to work for several years, she had a charmed life! Just did what she wanted to bought what she wanted to, I used to surprise her on her Birthdays with gifts and a nice dinner out, now at 51 she has had to return to work at her old job that I know she hated, but she didn't want me anymore she just got used to a lifestyle, she gave up her husband for a lifestyle that she can't even enjoy now, mine was the only income, even though I pay her alimony she is having to work full time again, different hours day and night, I know she hates it, but she has too much pride to ever admit that, I tried to win her back for a while, but now I can see how foolish that was, it wasn't about love, it was all about the money sad to say. I am getting on with my life, I would love to meet someone and be able to share my life with them, how many men do you know that are single and retired and don't look their age:) I have always looked young for my age that is something I have going for me, I actually had a date a while ago, first one in over 30 yrs, but unfortunately we didn't have a lot in common, she was very nice, but I just didn't feel that attraction, just going to see what the day will bring, maybe some day I will be blessed to meet another true love??
Comments
maybe you will but maybe not learn to make yourself happy learn that living alone is not that bad and life will be what you want love kalei
kalei