Braysmommy's Journal

I have discovered that I have a feeling very different during this pregnancy than I did with Brayden.  I was overjoyed, excited beyond immaginable, all the happy feelings that you can embody.  With this pregnancy I will have to say that the most overwhelming feeling that I have is that of Thankfulness.  I was worried that I would not feel joy nor excitement.  Now I understand that thankfulness may be all that I am able to feel at this momment without jumping out of my skin.  I look forward to the momment I get to hold this precious baby in my arms and hear her/his cries.  I hope then I will be able to overcome the real feeling of fear, doubt, and all the other negative feelings that are not fair to this baby.  I dont want this baby to be born into an environment of worry. 

Lord I pray that you will help me to open my heart again.  Help me to trust and believe and have hope.  Thank you for this amazing opportunity to be a mommy again. 

Brayden mommy loves you always.  I miss you so much that it hurts.  Please help mommy to believe and have Faith that your baby brother or sister will be born lively.  I am sorry for my doubt.  I am so proud that you will never have to feel pain or any negative feelings of this world.  You are perfect forever.  I love you.