cynthiadean's Journal

I am forty years old and reaching out for any help or advise, any one can give me. I started self harming about four years ago, it started simple, then slowly got worse, i was cutting,burning myself. I also slowly started cutting my hair off, until it got that bad you could see my scalp. I started to get better with help, but laterly it is starting to get worse again, my self worth is rock bottom, and all I see in my head is me harming myself some way. the last three weeks have been the worse I am thinking about it all the while, so I have cut myself three times with razor blades on my chest and stomach, I have cut my self with a knife on my arm twice, and also I have cut my hair once. I feel ashamed of myself and I dont like hurting my partner or children, but I cant stop, at the time it feels like some one as got hold of my body, and I do feel some relief afterwards, because I feel it is the only control I have got, but I do need help, so if any one as got any advise please help.