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  • About Me

    Image of cynthiadean

    cynthiadean

    Female, 40
    birmingham, WMD, GBR
    Member since June 23

    • About Me

      Hope you all like my new profile pic, got fed up looking at me at 18. I live with my partner of nine years, who is very understanding of my problems. My first husband died ten years ago, who I had three children with, a son who is 20 and is in the Royal Air Force, I miss him alot, but he loves the job and its nice when he comes home. I have twin daughters who are 18 and both go to college, we have two lovely dogs called cookie and cocoa. I have been self harming now for about four years. I have been getting treatment for about three and half years, I am on three lots of tablets, which I think I need reviewing because their dont seem to be helping me any more, my depression as come back, I hate going out of the house, I have not been anywhere without my partner for over two years. I think every day abouy harming, I have cut my self with razors on my chest and stomach three times, and cut my hair once in the last three weeks, I used to get relief after harming but I my not getting that any more.

      Hope you all like my new profile pic, got fed up looking at me at 18. I live with my partner of nine years, who is very understanding of my problems. My first husband died ten years ago, who I had three children with, a son who is 20 and is in the Royal Air Force, I miss him alot, but he loves the job and its nice when he comes home. I have twin daughters who are 18 and both go to college, we have two lovely dogs called cookie and cocoa. I have been self harming now for about four years. I have been

    • Interests

      I have started reading again after my daughter nagged me to read twilight, which I loved and read the other three books. I enjoy going to the cinema and going for a meal afterwards with my family. We all love to go bowling, which Im not to bad at.

      I have started reading again after my daughter nagged me to read twilight, which I loved and read the

  • Recent Activity

    Recently:

    • 19 hugs received, 13 hugs given

    Yesterday

    • cynthiadean gave mardiman a thanks 4:31pm

      Thanks Scott for the hug it means alot to me. Hope everything is going ok for you, how are the meetings…  
    • cynthiadean gave Raynow a thanks 4:27pm

      Thanks ray for the Monday wishes I need them. Hope everything is ok with you, its always good to hear…  
    • cynthiadean gave stix24 a chocolate 4:25pm

      Hi babe sorry you are so ill hope you start feeling better soon, apart from being ill how are things…  

    Sunday

    • cynthiadean gave Karl42 a thanks 5:50pm

      Hi Karl thanks for the hug and your kind words they mean alot to me. Hope everything is ok with you?…  
    • cynthiadean gave stix24 a chicken soup 5:47pm

      Hi babe hope you are feeling abit better today colds are horrible. Hope you like chicken soup take care…  
  • Journal

    • Im not doing it anymore.

      Mood November 4, 2009 7:58am

      For over ten years now since my husband died I have felt only guilt and anger but not anymore. Yesterday we would have been married for 21 years and …

    • This entry is private

    • Dont know whats a matter with me.

      Mood July 26, 2009 10:24am

      I really dont know whats a matter with me at the moment, I feel really low and all I feel like doing is crying my eyes out. I self harmed yesterday, …

    • I am angry with myself.

      Mood July 6, 2009 11:59am

      I wake up every morning , and the first thing I feel like doing is crying my eyes out.I dont feel like doing anything, I cant even be bothered to …
    • I feel so ashamed, but cant stop,need advise.

      Mood June 24, 2009 11:37am

      I am forty years old and reaching out for any help or advise, any one can give me. I started self harming about four years ago, it started …

    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give cynthiadean a hug



    • Flower

      From Karl42 Yesterday

      Hi Cynthia thanks for the hug and sorry to see your still not feeling too good,i had a rough day today but am going to do plenty exercise tomorrow that usually helps,ive done nothing but eat take aways all week .Im back to work tomorrow night and aparently one of those yobs i had the bother with is coming along to apologise,really hope you feel better soon big hugs Karl x

    • Flower

      From stix24 Yesterday

      Aww thanks Cynthia hun for the get well wishes :) So sorry you're feeling down. Just know i am always here for you. Apart from being ill things have been going quite well thanks hun this past week. I was a bit upset as a friends been very ill but he's a lot better now. I started my voluntary job 2 tuesdays ago. I'm working for my psych and getting feedback from patients after their appts. I'm a bit dissapointed i couldn't go in this week but i can hardly be coughing all over everyone and i'm not feeling well enough. Been having a lot of panic attacks though and anxiety so just been talking to my mum a lot (bless her she's the best!). Hope you feel better soon babe. Let me know if there is anything i can do to help? Big hugs x

    • Little Love

      From stix24 Yesterday

      Aww thanks so much sweetie for the chicken soup :) I went to the doctors today and it turns out i have flu and bonchitis so i'm just resting and trying to get well again :) How have you been hun? Big hugs x

    • Hug

      From Raynow Yesterday

      Good Monday morning wishes to you .. hope this week is a good one 4 u .. hugz ..

    • Hug

      From mardiman Yesterday

      whats a matter? why are you feeling so bad today? I will be on in the morning if you wanna chat.I hope all is well....Hugs Scott

    Read Hugbook

  • Goals

    Progress

    0 %

    Goal End Date is Apr 25, 10 152 more days.
    Current Weight (Lbs)
    249
  • Support Groups

    • Close Self-Injury

      i have been self harming now for 4 years sometimes it gets better, but when it comes back it feels ten times worse, and i think it might keep talking to other people like myself, who understand what it feels like to self ham.

      Treatments

      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      still on going,sometimes it helps,but other times it makes me feel worse.
      Rubber Bands Working / Worked
      tried it for a while but it did not help.
      Talking Working / Worked
      i some times talk to my partner, or my family, but i feel that it upsets them, which makes me feel worse about myself, so i feel like self harming again.
    • Close Physical & Emotional Abuse

      My late husband was both Physical and Emotional abusive towards me, nearly all of ou marriage. H as been dead now for 10 years, and Im still angry at him.

      Treatments

      Talking Working / Worked
      It helps at the time, but when I think of him lately Im so angry.
    • Open Depression
      Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

      I have suffered with depression that long, I cant rembemer when it first started, I just know it as got alot worse over the last 10 years

      Treatments

      Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
      It just didnt work for me
      Positive Thinking Working / Worked
      Its hard to think postive when you are depressed
      Prozac Working / Worked
      It worked for awhile but my depression just got worse.
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      My counseller is great, he really helps me, but sometimes after talking I cry alot and I get headaches.
      Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
      My partner and kids are wonderful they help alot. My outside family are not so understanding, they just think I which pull myself together.
      Writing Working / Worked
      I did keep a journal for awhile, I dont know why I stopped, but will start again one day,
      Zoloft Working / Worked
      It worked for a few years I was on 200mg a day but it just stopped helping so I have not to come of it.
      Remeron Working / Worked
      I have only been on them a couple of weeks so I dont know if they will work Im on 15mg aday.
    • Open Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety

      I hate going out of the house. My worse point was when I didnt go ouy of the house for 3 months. I have not been out of the house without my partner for over 2 years,and then its only when I see my counselor.

    • Open Paranoia

      I get very paranoid about people when I go out or if they come to the house.

      Treatments

      Talking Working / Worked
      As not worked still feel very paranoid.
    • Open Insomnia

      I have been suffering with Insomnia now for over a year and its just getting worse and is not helping cope with my depression.

      Treatments

      Lunesta Working / Worked
      no it is not working, Im on 5mg a night.
      Music Working / Worked
      does work sometimes
      Reading Working / Worked
      does not work get to much into my book
    • Open Widows & Widowers

      My husband died 10 years ago but still find it hard to deal with at times.

      Treatments

      Grief Counseling Working / Worked
      It worked at the time but I still need counseling.
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      Still ongoing it does help sometimes, but at times it makes be feel really down and depressed.
  • Groups

  • Friends


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