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cheavel 
Well, I called off work again today. I wasn't even going to try to go in. I'm not crying at the drop of a hat, but feel like I could. I hate the way I feel. I feel empty, hopeless, unfeeling but feeling too much. I feel like I"m letting my husband down by falling apart the way I did. I'm trying to hide this from my kids so I don't upset them. I've cut myself off from everyone over the last few years and don't know how to reach out to anyone, mainly because I haven't felt "worthy" of having friends I guess. I know it'll get better, I hope it'll get better. It did before. I just hate the feeling of having no control over my emotions, my life.
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Dear Cheavel, Your words really touched me, I have felt very similiar to what you describe, though I've never actually acknowledged it until recently. I have just joined here today, it seems like a good place, where communication is possible, something I've been longing for. I really admire your honesty as this has prompted me to open up and feel better.
xx
lavenderS