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meg1222 
11:34pm, June 23, 2009
well it has been a pretty bad week well horrible i must say, Tuesday evening i went to the ER because my back hurt so bad i couldnt stand it, they gave some shots and those helped they told me to call me dr and tell them they think that I may have a pinched nerve because the pain goes all the way down my left leg and that there might be something going on with my neck cause my hands fall asleep when i am sleeping, well i left a message with my dr and they have yet to call me back Thanks doc.... and on a very sad note my friend i previously wrote about well her baby died very sad, i feel so bad for her i talk to her last night for about 3 1/2 hours
she was 22 weeks and at that far along you have to make arrangments for the baby, she named her Holly. I have also been bitten by the flu bug this weekend and feeling very yucky and haven't been much help around the house and I think my husband is annoyed I dont blame him at all for all he does now I feel pretty worthless most of the time and like a huge burden to my family I wish i could just get up and help and be normal again whatever normal may be for me, I feel bed ridden, guilt ridden, sad, angry, mad at myself, and selfish. I wish i could make all these terrible feeling go away and just wake up tomorrow and be renewed, refreshed and happy well see if that day comes. Sorry to whoever reads this kinda depressing I thought maybe writing it down might help a little at least for a little while. Just hoping tomorrow is better.
Comments
I am very sorry to hear about your friend's baby. She will go through a very hard time. My Mom had a baby at 7 months that did not live and back then you didn't have to bury the baby. she had no money and to this day does not know what happened to her little boy. She did have to name it so they could give a birth and then a death certificate. He lived 7 hours. When he was born they don't know the things about preemies they do now.
I understand how you feel about feeling usless. it is a normal feeling to go through. I can't help that much with advice because I still afetr 3 1/2 years feel that way. It will get better. Give yourself time and know that your job is to heal yourself. I wish you the best. (((HUGGS)))
jsreichard