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Hateit 
We had the most amazing holiday - I am so glad that we had chats before then because it wouldn't have been half as good. We had such a good time. He asked me if he could have the odd pint and I said yes - I told him the truth - I really do not mind him drinking openly in front of me (as long as not getting seriously drunk) its the hiding in the garage drinking behind my back I cannot stand. He was fine - no mood swings nothing. I am beginning to think that a couple of pints is fine it is when he is drinking the vodka that he is a moody git. Anyway I do not think he could of got any as we were together all the times and when we weren't he wouldn't have got to go and get a bottle - he could of had one at pub but if he did then that is up to him. To my knowledge he is doing really well. I am really proud. I did tell him before we came home that if he did start going out sneakly buying vodka I would be furious, we have absolutely no money as he has been redundant since March and any savings we had has gone so we are now both desperately job hunting. If he spent the money that we now dont have I would never forgive him. I am tired of it all, so so tired. So many things I wanted to run away from on holiday. We even stayed on a few extra days, couldn't afford it but I did not want to come home. I wanted to leave my worries at home and it worked, I didn't want to come home! I worry about him drinking again, I am sick of bottle counting and sniffing and waiting to catch him out and the thought of him drinking etc, I am sick of the fact my mother is bed ridden after a stroke (but she did not have to be bed ridden as she was doing o.k. but took to her bed two years ago), I worry about my dad as he is so so tired now, emotionly and mentally and physically, I worry about my bestest friend in the whole world as she is going through hell and I cannot do anything to help her, I would love to make it better for her but I can't, anything else? Son with OCD which may or maynot have autism, his constant tantrums (at least one an hour if not more) which I know arn't his fault but still v waring. Money? I should be worried about that as have none and am job hunting but the fact I am on prozac obviously protects me from worrying about that lol. Well I have had my moan. I have written another list of where bottles are: 1 by freezer 2 under gloves, 1 in mod box, 4 in big mod box, 4 from mrslg box, 8 in bag and 1 under hat.
