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karensicle 
So today just became a day like Mothers day. Or what I like to call Motherless Day. This year I not only got a Motherless day but a Fatherless day as well. I tell everyone when they say that they cant imagine how it must be to have their parents with them that you learn how to deal with it and that you play with the hand that you are dealt but really that is BS. Its unfair and I dont know how Im going to do this. Its the first real holiday that its hitting me that my dad isnt here any more. I was just getting used to the idea of not having my mom here to answer questions and only relaying on my dad and now I dont even have that..... Its hard to imagine that he isnt here and I wont ever see him again. If they died so young it makes me wonder how long I have, they didnt even make it to 50, Im 20, do I have the time to have a family? How could I possible have kids knowing that there is a very big chance that I wont be there to see them grow up and help them. Its like Im my own history since I dont have theirs.
