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soph2 
ok, I have never done this before....well not where other people can read it anyway. I found this site last night, I often come on when I am scared because even if i don't talk to anyone it is nice to know that there are other people sitting at their computers feeling the same way. My dad was really bad last night & was abusing my step mum, I tried to avoid him but I had to see him & he tried to have a go at me, but I just backed off & didn't provoke him (learnt from experience with that) Then he was trying to pretend that everything was fine, but he was stumbling around and breaking stuff. He told me I was so stupid & that when he was my age he didn't have to study so hard for exams (I am trying to do uni exams at the moment) & whats wrong with me that I need to study all the time. But I don't care, I am so used him being like that, nothing he says hurts me. Sometimes I just say i am studying so I can stay in my room or say I am going to campus to study in the library, but its just so I can avoid him. He was home all day so had been drinking from about 10am till 8 pm so was really really bad. I wish I could leave, but I am trying to do school and can't afford to move out again. I lived away for a few years but had to come back because rent is so expensive but i just wish I could go away. I feel so silly, my bedroom door doesn't lock, so I pile my desk chair and a side table against it a night, & don't go to sleep untill I know he has gone to bed.
