ChelseyAnn's Journal

Well, it seems to me that October is going by way too quickly!  It certainly has been a busy month and one that was especially memorable to me.  Another opening night at the opera, another Navy Ball (which was so much fun this year!)....Now Halloween is a few short days away.  Next year I'll be going to the opera alone and not to the Navy Ball at all as my husband will be deployed by that time.  I don't want to think about the holidays next year without him, I just want to make this year very special. 

After the first of the year we have so much to do...another trip to Walter Reed for my MRI (# 3 by that time in less than a year).  I also have to try to convince my specialist that if he wants to to another endoscopy with the possibility of banding that he needs to schedule it prior to September when my husband gets deployed.  He had said he'd like to do another one next October, but I will have no one to go with me and I need someone as they give you local anesthesia, but even if I did I just think I'd rather have my husband go with me.  My contact at Walter Reed said they will do thier best to schedule any tests that need to be done prior to deployment so that short of my MELD actually going up enough to justify my going back to D.C. again, I won't have a need to leave Virginia. 

I also heard from Social Security yesterday....denied.  My parents say to appeal the decision.  My husband says the same and I figure what can it hurt.  The whole system bugs me.  They look at a pile of paperwork sent to them by doctors and decide what you are and are not capable of.  They don't spend all day with me, they don't see how I function (or on some days, how I DON'T function).  They simply decide what they want based on thier rules and that's that.  Too bad for them that I don't give up that easily.  I also read on a disability lawyers website something interesting about disabilities due to alcohol or illegal drugs:  fact is that if your disability was caused by either of these factors then you most likely are not eligible for benefits.  The only good thing is that if you read further into the answer it says this may not be true if drugs/alcohol are no longer a material element in your disability.  I'll be damned if I'm going to be denied because I made a mistake and ended up with this awful disease.  For that matter, I'd like to see which of them that decide these rules are perfect.  Truth is, you can still develop cirhossis due to alcohol even if you are not a full blown alcoholic.  (this subject has been beaten to death and I won't dwell on it, but suffice it to say that like anything else it's been proven that certain things whether they be alcohol, food, environmental elements...well everyone is affected differently.).  In any event, that's my though on thier crappy process :) 

So...all in all my point is that this month hasn't been all that great what with my husband working so many long hours that at times I wonder if I'm married at all...talk about lonliness and climbing the walls when he gets home and is too tired to even to say 5 words to me and thinks that my days are too insignificant to hear about).  But, it hasn't been a completely bad month either.  It's been one of those months that has given me memories that will keep me warm next year when my husband is far away from me and I really can't ask for more than that right now (except to maybe get over this rotten chest cold that just won't go away!!!).

Happy Halloween, hugs and prayers,

CA