jdillard's Journal

Okay...so one thing--one big thing--that helps me when I'm having hard times is writing poetry and things...it helps me to express how I'm feeling and everything. So, I'm sure lots of my journal entries will probably be things--poems and stuff--that I write to help get things out. Here's one that I actually wrote a few years ago (like a year after my dad and step-dad passed away); I was telling one of my friends about it (here ya go Kim) and told her I'd write it in a journal entry. So, here it is (this one is kind of more religious in trying to deal with things):

 "Where to Turn..."

My mind is a maze--

A maze with many different paths,

Many turns and windy trails--

Deadends everywhere you look....

Where to go?

Who to turn to?

This way or that?

Him? No it's a trick...

I plot,

I plan,

I'm getting out of this mess--

There must be some way...

Could I go through it?

Around it?

Over it?

Can I make it on my own?

Nothing seems possible--

Not on my own,

But there's no one near me--

I feel so alone...

I pull out my map--

Not your typical map,

But a special tool--

I can choose to follow it, take it in, learn, or work on my own...

I study...

Seek, ask, and find...

Learn about the paths and deadends?

How can learning help me?

Give it a shot--

Study and learn...

Tears build up,

Heart swells,

Along the paths and in the deadend,

There it is--

The solution, light, and guide for everything...

My Heavenly Father...

In the maze,

I fall to my knees,

Open my whole heart,

Words come out connected to tears--both freely spilling...

Warmth, love, comfort,

Unbelieveable feeling--

He's there, He's with me, He'll help,

Just let Him in...

Eyes open,

Tear stained cheeks,

Standing up slowly,

I look forward....the path is straight, the walls have fallen, and a light shines ahead!