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Katt1970 
7:30pm Tuesday
OMG! I saw his younger sister today. I've not had much contact with her since he got out of jail a few weeks ago. I feel sorry for her, because her family, not just her brother, is truely messed up. I was able to get out of that sick twisted family thanks to my lawyer, but that poor girl is stuck!
She told me somethings he had been up to since he called me. Apparently one of his friend's mom has been going to his dad's house to drink with them. He told me once that he made out with this woman that is old enough to be his mother. It seems now that he and his dad are "sharing" her. I don't know the extent of the "sharing"...I told his sister I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW ANYMORE!!!
Also, the skeleton's are coming out of the closet. It seems that he and his older brother had "relations" with their first cousins when they were all younger.
I don't know whether to laugh or puke. How could I ever have loved someone who would do these things, not to mention the things he done to me. Why do these things disgust me more that what he done to me? My mind is reeling!
Who the hell was the person I gave my heart and life to? I can't make the connection with this person and the person I fell in love with.
As long as I keep these horribly disgusting images in my mind...I'm too sickened and disgusted to think about missing him or worrying about him.
How could I ever have loved you? You are way more twisted and fucked up than I ever imagined and I'm thankful to be rid of you. I am way too good for you...you freak of nature!
OMG!!!!
Comments
That is sick Katt, I am glad that you have acquired the "fuel" you needed to really see what he is. The knowledge you have gained will help you recover and not miss him or miss him. It is sad that once out of the "fog of abuse" we can see what they truly are and not the pretty little picture they have ingrained in our minds and hearts. Stay strong. You are a good woman who was duped and conned with a freak. Be glad that you are away from that wacky family.
Hugs and Happy Halloween
LavenderMoon
Thx Lavender. I debate on whether or not to journal about this one, as it is sick and freakish. I wasn't sure I wanted ANYONE to know that I was or had ever been associated with someone that messed up.
However, I couldn't keep it inside. First I laughed, because it was so unbelieveable for me, but then I felt like either crying or puking, so I opted to come here and let bile out. I guess that is because I believe what his sister told me, because she had NOTHING to gain by telling that story and I think the only reason she told me, was because she needed to get the poison out herself and those things aren't something you tell just anyone.
The whole time I was typing the journal....I swear I could hear Dueling Banjo's playing in the background.
He beat on me and tried to kill me, but it took this for me to be UTTERLY disgusted by him as a person and a human being. I am over him and my feelings for him.
My main focus from here on out is dealing with the abuse and making myself a healthy whole person, with a healthy wonderful future!
Happy Halloween to you too!
Hugs!
Katt1970
Not surprising given what he did to you. Sad that our vision gets clouded by what we want to see and not what's really there. You have been strong and escaped that reality and now you are creating the rest of your life. Don't let his crazy reality interfer with that, yes you have been affected by it but it doens't define you and that's NOT how you are going to live. Look to the sunrise, YOUR new day is dawning. God Bless!
goodfight
I am GLAD you see and realize how sick and twisted he is. Yes it is SO HARD to wrap your mind to the reality of who he is. In the beginning he showed you his good side that is why you fell in love with him. Then there's this dark side to him who makes out with a woman old enough to be his Mom whom he shared with hid Dad...and can I just way super eeeew...you were set free from the madness and sickness of being with this low life so everytime you feel like missing him again, think of all the despicable things he had done and that will "hopefully" stop the feeling of missing him on its tracks. YOU WERE/ARE WAAAY TO GOOD FOR HIM, C! YOU DESERVE WAAAY BETTER!
ginebra
Thank God, Thank God Thank God, you are out of it.....At the start , we only see the pieces of a person they are willing to share with us...usually the best of themselves..... but sooner or later the truth of who they are will show itself....
Shake yourself off ,of all His twisted, destructive influence and be so grateful that you are out of it and on your way to a whole new future...a future filled with promise and hope....You deserve every good thing....Big hugs, and Gods blessings on you today.
thebuckstopshere
Thank you all...my wonderful DS friends. Hearing these things about him yesterday just freedom me a little more from him. Actually...it freed me a lot from him.
I keep asking myself how I ever got involved with someone so depraved, but it doesn't matter. It happened...regardless of how it happened. Thank God it is over and I'm still a functional/productive member of society!
Katt1970
everything you say is so spot on Katt, my words aren't needed because you know everything yourself. I'm just really glad that you feel this way and that you understand what a worthwhile, amazing person you are and that you are looking forward. Congratulations to you for freeing yourself from this person unworthy of you!
silentstrength